Firefly Nights
by Bloodypleasures
Summary: Ever since she came to Wammy’s, she would often go out at night to see the fireflies, and I would watch her trying to playfully catch them. I wonder what made the change – me trying to catch them for her…? NearxOC - ch 15: end. Sorry D:
1. Chapter 1

**Firefly nights**

**AU because L didn't die and is still on the Kira Case. I want Near in Wammy's for this plot! xD**

**Always told out of Near's POV unless I say otherwise ^.^**

_**Chapter 1**_

I always preferred silences. But when I started living in Wammy's house, it was quickly decided that I didn't have that much luck. I should count on noise every hour or two. I did live in the same building as Mello after all.

"Oi, sheep!" My door was thrown over and loudly made contact with the wall – I wonder if the impact of the thrust did something for damage.

"Yes, Mello?" I reply while not taking my eyes of my tower of carts. As expected, he kicked the tower and the cards flew to the ground slowly. Nonetheless, I refrained looking at him. If it was another bullying today I rather just ignore him.

"Roger told me to tell you your roommate arrived." _Never beats around the bush, does he. _Not exactly roommate though, we only share the same bathroom.

"He tells you to go down and meet her."

So it was a girl after all – I had never been informed about the gender of the new addition. Roger told us that she came from a fairly wealthy position, thus we lacked knowing the reason why she came here. Roger didn't tell us.

I got up slowly and leave the cards for what they were, knowing I'll clean them up later, before following Mello outside the door. "Where is she, then?" I asked quietly, my hand moving up to curl my hair.

Mello snorted. "Go find it for yourself, I ain't no messenger." Ah, typical Mello is always being stubborn. It wasn't hard to think this for myself; she would either be in Roger's office, her room or in the front hall.

I discarded the two first options and slowly made my way over to the stairs that would lead directly to the front hall. The room beside mine had been unoccupied for quite a while, and I was a little surprised when Roger told me that somewhere would reside in it as of today.

I stopped midway down from the stairs and sat down, looking at the girl. Frankly, there were a lot of children around her. They always seemed to get out of their cottages when someone new was here. Personally I did not like crowds or any form of it, so it was only natural I'd wait at the stairs.

"Children, calm down, please." Roger told the kids. "She might get frightened." To my surprise, Watari was behind the girl, petting her head in a comforting manner. I wasn't informed of Watari's arrival either. Wasn't he supposed to be in Japan with L?

It did look like he was leaving immediately. Perhaps only a short visit. As I had thought, Watari left soon and the girl looked around nervously, stepping a little closer to Roger.

Roger smiled and put a hand on her shoulder. "Children, this is Mai. Please treat her nicely." I observed her quietly while the children asked her questions and she awkwardly answered them. She had reddish brown hair until her shoulders, some locks pulled up with a tiny fake lily, and large blue eyes. I had to admit, she looked pretty. And also radiated 'rich'.

Well, only a little, I must not exaggerate. It might be the summer dress she was wearing and the silver lock hanging from her neck. She also bowed each time someone told her name.

I wonder what her talent is… perhaps artistic. Or mathematical, like myself and Mello. Maybe something more personal. I fiddle with my sleeve for a second before twirling my hair. I'd find out soon enough. As soon as the herd of children got ordered to go back to their classes and rooms, I descended from the stairs making sure not to trip over any discarded toys. At least I always cleared mine up.

"Ah, Near." Roger announced happily and pushed the girl, Mai, in front of himself. She looked at me nervously, a smile playing on her lips. "Mai, this is Near. He'll be in the room next to you, remember I told you?" She nodded.

"Near, I have matters to attend too. Will you be so kind to guide and introduce her?" Of course that had to happen. I really wanted to get back to my room to finish my towers – in silence.

"Sure Roger." I said monotonously, waiting for him to leave. Mai smiled at me awkwardly and looked around once more.

I turned around and randomly started to walk a way, eventually I'll end up somewhere important. "Come along." I murmured and Mai looked at me immediately and caught up with me. "Most of these hallways are rooms." I explain. "Always take two times left, one time right and one time left, and you'll end up in this space . Easy to remember." She nodded and muttered something I expected to be the instructions.

I stopped in front of the kitchen. "This is the kitchen. You won't need to go in here unless you missed a meal. Over there," I stopped and pointed to the only door that was in the hall straight forward. "Is the dining room. Breakfast is at half past eight, lunch at twelve and dinner at half past six." Maybe I was telling her too much and too fast, but she'd come and ask me or someone else if she didn't remember it.

"Wow, it's really strict, isn't it?" She softly said, more to herself I reasoned. I nod disinterestedly before continuing walking. "If you go up that stairs, you'll find the classrooms. Roger will show you them while you need to discuss which classes you are going to take." Thus I could leave those be, I happily thought while I walked over to another hallway. If I were new, he would've surely got lost without any introduction. But, Mai might not be as intelligent as him and forget most of it by the evening. "This is the library."

This continued for a good half an hour before I stopped at the common room. Hopefully Linda would take her of my shoulders for now… Was it rude to think that? I didn't dislike her but I just need a little time for myself now.

"This is the common room. It's a large space," I said and opened the door. "Where most of us spend time when it's not good weather outside."

Mai looked at the huge space and I wonder if she was indeed wealthy, if she had a room just as big as this and a common room three times the size of this one. If she had a house two times the size of this orphanage. But then again, maybe she was only a little wealthy.

I saw Linda standing up and waving at me, before smiling at Mai. I was grateful, but somehow felt I was being mean towards the new girl. I wouldn't know why though…

"Oi!" Oh great, Mello. I hope he doesn't traumatize her. "What'cha doing Neary?" Mello taunted with Matt behind him, his eyes glued to a red DS. I ignore the question. "Mai, these are Mello and Matt." I introduce her faintly when she shoots me a confused glance. I kept the 'look out for them' hided in my thoughts because they were actually here. Matt wouldn't hurt me, but Mello… you can insert your own thoughts there.

"Showing your girlfriend around? Isn't she cute." Mello laughed and bit off a piece of chocolate. I twirl my hair. "She's not my girlfriend and you know that. She's the new child you instructed me to go and see."

I shouldn't have said that, on second thought. Mello grabbed my collar and pulled me closer to him. I instantly heard Linda leave the room - to get Roger, probably.

"What's that, pipsqueak?" Mello threatened, his chocolate discarded in his pocket and his hand balled in a fist. I didn't reply and waited for a hit in my face patiently. I think my nose got used to the fact it would be dislocated every month.

"Stop it, please." Someone said softly and I see Mai's hand rest on Mello's arm, the one that held me. Mello snapped his eyes over to her, and I was surprised she didn't flinch. Linda would have.

"Don't tell me what to do." He sneered at her, releasing his hold on my harshly so I need to regain my balance. He towers over Mai with his 1 meter and 70 centimetres, but she didn't seem intimidated. However, she did look fragile and easy to break. Mello won't hurt girls though. Not physically, I hope.

She looked rather disappointed then scared and Mello started a staring contest before harrumphing and glaring harder at her. "The rules tell you to not mess with me, princess. Things might occur." He said and Mai blinked. "I'm sorry." She told him quietly before releasing his arm.

"I won't interfere with you again. But please don't bully people inferior to you."

That was an indirect insult. I guess I was inferior to Mello physically… but still. Truth came harsh.

"Mello?" Roger called out. "What's wrong?" He asked, his look turning to Mai. Mai smiled brightly at Roger. "Nothing Roger."

Indestructible, that's the word at how she told the lie so easily. I hope that wasn't her great ability, I tend to fall for lies when told honestly.

Roger nodded unsure and Mai put some extra on it. "I just made a new acquaintance. Right, Mello?"

Mello released his glare and bit of a piece of his chocolate. "…Right."

At least he didn't cause any more trouble. Roger left after a while and I sat down promptly after pulling out the white puzzle I stacked here the day before. And each time I solve it I remember myself to ask for a new one.

"Do you mind if I… watch you?" Mai suddenly asked, and I looked up to see that she escaped from the girl's wrath of Mello-questioning. Why the girls fancied Mello, I did not know. Matt was popular too, and I never inquired I was popular. I always kind off hoped not – it saved me social traumas.

"Do as you please." I reply after eyeing her for a second. I know there were more people who watched me when I solved yet another puzzle, but none of them actually asked me if I minded. Interesting. I might get along with this girl after all. If she wouldn't cling on me, that is.

* * *

_**Description as how the files at Wammy's tell them.  
**__Pseudonym:_Mai  
_Age:_14 years.  
_Height:_1 meter and 63 centimetres  
_Hair:_Reddish brown  
_Eyes:_Blue.  
_Date of Birth:_18th September.  
_Nationality:_French  
_Special information for reader: _Loves ribbons, cinnamon, grapes, blue and sleeping out. Hates high heels, carrots, early hours, orange and selfish people.

-

**NEAR:  
A****ge: 15 years  
****Height: 1 meter and 67 centimetres**

**R&R! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Firefly nights**

_Chapter 2_

**The Date Mai arrived was: 26****th**** September. **

Someone knocked my door softly, and I look up for a moment, before returning to my small domino game. "Yes." I answered quietly and the door swiftly opened.

Mai stuck her head in and smiled apologetically at me when I looked up. "I'm sorry – but my bathroom door is locked."

Had I forgot to open it? Ah yes, I had planned to open it but was distracted when Linda dragged me outside to spend time with the other kids.

I nod and stand up, opening my own bathroom door. She followed me quickly and I snapped the lock from her bathroom door open. "Here." I said and she smiled brightly. "Thank you!" With that she waltzed into her own room again and shut the door quietly.

I didn't hear much from her the rest of the afternoon. I guess she just unpacked her stuff and settled in a little, before she would actually go out and befriend the other children. The first time I saw her again was at dinner, but I paid little mind to the children. They were always so noisy, and I wonder if they took some kind of drug in the morning that would make them this ecstatic everyday.

Mai was seated next to Linda – who was across from me. I silently followed their conversation while eating my spaghetti. "So, Mai, what's your speciality?" Linda asked curiously and I looked up for a second. Mello, two places away from Mai, also looked up. That surprised me, I expected him to just go to her and get right to the point. Matt wasn't even paying attention to the food though.

"Oh, talent? Um," She started, nervous from the sudden attention of her part of the table. "I'm very sensitive to hearing… That way I can tell when someone lies, and also immediately copy the right tunes to lie myself." She murmured while fiddling with her fingers a little.

Linda gasped in her usual manner. "Really? That's so cool!" She said, excited, and Mai shrugged while smiling lightly. "So, you can just tell a lie and someone will believe it?"

"I don't know… but imagine I hear someone tell a lie to you and you believe it, I can copy that and make you believe my lies." Mai explained softly before taking a bite of her spaghetti. Linda sighed. "I wished I could do that… Lying comes into handy so often!"

Mello snorted, announcing he had been paying attention. "So you can lie to Roger that I did something to Near I didn't? Nasty."

Linda pouted and leaned over the table a little, staring at Mello. "Mello! Don't think like that, I would never do that to you! Not when you don't deserve it, that is." She said honestly and Mello glared at her. "Near deserves what he gets, not me." He exclaimed matter-of-factly and Linda whined, glaring at him.

Mai smiled carefully at Mello. "That was a lie, Mello." She said quietly but I heard from the amusement of her voice that she only joked that. Still, after hearing all that, it could be true. Mello got wide-eyed for a second and glared at her, but Mai didn't get intimidated and smiled mischievously at him. He opened his mouth and was about to say something – probably a mean thing – when Matt pushed his shoulder and excitedly told him he won a new high score. Mello sighed and grudgingly continued his dinner while Linda asked Mai more things. One more question came to my attention though.

"I'm very sorry for asking this…" Linda started and Mai nodded for her to continue. "But are you wealthy or something? Like rich?"

It did seem like invading privacy. In fact, you couldn't talk about your past so openly when you reside in Wammy's. You aren't even allowed to tell anyone besides L, Watari and Roger your true name. It's a miracle we can tell our heights, ages, nationality and features.

Mai seemed to think this too and she got a doubting look in her eyes, before glancing over at me. She saw that the question had caught my attention as well, before she looked over the table a little more. Linda hadn't asked it very loud, so not many people were paying attention. Though, when she would tell it, news would walk through the orphanage quickly.

"You could say that…" Mai eventually replied, uncomfortably. She didn't seem all that used to this place yet, on second look. "Like how?" Linda continued asking and I wondered if I should tell her to stop interfering.

"My house was twice the size of this orphanage, I think." Mai thought aloud, her hand at her neck to rub it a little. Linda gasped again. "Really? And I always thought this orphanage was huge!"

Mai grinned awkwardly again, and took another huge bite of her dinner, probably hoping the conversation was done with that. "But then, did something happen with your family? Why would you be here?" Linda continued and I put down my fork, watching Mai's shocked reaction to that question.

"Linda," I said monotonously, catching the girl's attention. "That's enough." Mai continued looking down at her dinner while Linda's eyes widened for a second, apologizing to the girl. Mai murmured to her that it was okay before silently finishing her dinner, like the rest of us.

After everyone's gone to their rooms to prepare for bed, I finished the domino stand-up and looked at them idly, twirling a lock of my white hair. Linda always gave me thoughts I shouldn't care to have. But because she asked it, I was mildly curious. Maybe her family was murdered out by Kira, or maybe they were in an accident. They could've gone broke too and spare her the desperation by sending her to this place. Maybe they got divorced and asked Mai if she rather wanted to go to this place before she would have to choose between her parents. Maybe one died and the other parent didn't have enough time for her.

There was also a possibility that she was lying and was just found on the streets. That seemed unlikely though, she had a fair amount of baggage when she arrived. Personal stuff were not allowed, which was hard on most of the children. No pictures of family or friends from before were allowed, nor any form of belief that you ever knew them. Pretty harsh though.

I was found when I was only a toddler myself, and did not have any memories about my family. I was glad for that, it saved me painful memories. But sometimes I did wonder. Mello came here when he was a little older, and he had memories of his parents. I never really knew how it felt to have parents.

That sounded really miserable…

It's the truth though. I've been raised at this place – by Roger, L, Watari and the caretakers. Some other kids are too. The only thing I had in my possession from my life before was a blanket with the letter N braded on it.

Of course I knew my nationality and my true name, Nate River, and I could even search up my family. I never felt any urge to do that though. Roger allowed me and the many children here who know their names to do it once, to know where you descended from. I refrained doing that.

I scowl at myself for having all these useless thoughts while I was actually thinking about someone else.

My bathroom door was knocked and I instantly wonder what Mai needs. There could be no other person then her – except if Mello broke into her room and took the long way to mine. That seemed unlikely, but it's still possible for the likes of him.

I mutter a yes and the door creaks open, Mai quickly stepping into my room. I kept my eyes locked on the domino stand-up before turning to gaze at her, when she kept silent for a while.

She smiled nervously at me; I wonder why she would be so nervous all the time.

"Um, thanks for the saving back there…" Mai said quietly, running a hand through her now-messy hair. I reason she had been in bed before.

"That's okay." I answer quietly while looking at her. Maybe that would get her uncomfortable too. At least it urged her to either continue with talking or to leave him be.

"Is there something else you require?" I ask when she gave up on talking. She shrugged lightly before nodding, biting her lip. I turn to her a little and she closed her arms around herself.

"…There's a huge spider in my room." She said and I kept my face from a surprised look. A spider? What's wrong with that? Pick it up, open your window, get it out, and close your window.

I gaze at her confusedly and she looked at me as if that statement before had been the most obvious one she could give me. "And I'm afraid of it." She pointed out.

That means that she wants me to get it out for her? I hope this won't occur every day. I look at the door before at her again. "Why? It won't hurt you."

"It will. It has eight legs and if it grows big it'll capture me. I doubt he's a vegetarian one with the way he's been lurking there…" She told me seriously and I blink my eyes mildly amused, releasing my hair and holding my arm midway for a second, and then dropping it.

"Ah come on that was funny." She said when I didn't respond and I look at her idly, before walking through the bathroom to her room.

To my surprise the room was still the same at it was before. Two dark blue suitcases were stated in a corner, but the rest of her stuff had either been neatly stacked away or was still in the suitcases. She didn't apply any posters like Mello and Matt – and possible all the others too – and didn't had anything fancy to put on display.

"It's over there." Mai said, pointing at the space right beneath the large mirror. If Mello would've been asked this, he would've just barged into the room, plant his foot on the spider and leave the thing on the floor in a heap. Not only is it a little sad for such a creature, it is also disgusting. Matt would kill it and then clean it up, decent enough.

I walk over it and crouch down to gently shove the spider on my hand, before walking over to the window, Mai looking at me horrified. I seriously hoped we wouldn't have a spider-epidemic next month. Her window had already been opened, so I just waved my hand a little and hoped the spider would land somewhere it couldn't end up in her room in one night.

That job done, I turned around and walked over to the bathroom again, leaving Mai in her own room. "Thanks!" She called after me before I nodded and shut the door to my room.

The next day I awoke through loud shrieking.

"Mello, Matt… GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" The voice sounded awfully much like Mai's. I lean up and look at the clock to see it was an hour and a quarter before the alarm would go off.

Oh well, I didn't need much sleep after all. I hope Mello won't come barge in my room at this hour.

"Don't be so prude, princess." Mello's voice snapped annoyed and I could hear something crash. Maybe she threw her clock at him. "What's your problem, woman?!" Matt suddenly shrieked and I guess the clock landed on him rather then Mello.

"And here I thought you were cute!"

"NOT AT SIX AM!" Mai shouted again before I heard some stomping. I was worried for a second when my door opened, but I saw a flash of reddish brown and baby blue. Mai leaned against my bathroom door annoyed and then suddenly looked at me to see if she had woken me.

She immediately looked guilty. "Near! I'm sorry… Mello just-" I twirled my hair. "I know." I sit up from my bed and ruffle my hair in order to get it a less messy then usual.

Mai sat down on my bed promptly, making me stare at her confused. "Do you mind me staying here for a while? I doubt Will and Grace will leave anytime soon."

Will and Grace? Who was she referring to? Oh, forget it. "Did you lock your bathroom door?" I inquire softly and she nodded, twiddling the sleeves of her baby blue pyjamas.

She looked at me for a second, but looked to her hands when I gazed back at her. I got the impression she wanted to tell me something, but I wouldn't urge. I don't need small talks, so…

"My parents are still alive." She murmured and I keep still, mildly curious as I had explained earlier. "They sent me here because they think it will do me good." She looked a little sad and I knew why – her parents also know she can't see them often. Of course children with parents were allowed visits on Christmas, but that was really it. Even the birthdays have to be spend here, but the parents can send gifts and cards.

"And yours?" She suddenly asked. I grimaced mentally and refrained answering that question, which would probably give her the impression that they are either dead or I did not knew them. A hard past was possible too.

She looked at her hands again before pulling her knees up to her chest, resting her head on them lightly. "Why does Mello dislike you?" She decided on asking and I think that if I don't answer any of her questions she'll just urge me to. However, I do not like interrogating, and I hope I made it clear with the look I send to my domino stand-up that has not been touched yet.

"He feels inferior to me concerning intellect." I reply curtly and she cocks her head to a side. "He's not as smart as you…? But aren't there more children smarter then him or something?"

"Mello is ranked number two in this house." I stated and wondered if she got the point concerning me with that. She nodded and rested her head on her knees before suddenly looking at me again. "You're number one?"

"Yes."

After that it was silent. I glanced to my side to look at Mai and discover she had been looking at me, but she smiled lightly before casting her look on the domino stand-up.

Right now I think I could take a shower... she seemed to be out of questions. I grabbed some clothes out of my closet and headed for the bathroom, knowing Mai would catch the hint. She leaned back on my bed until her back came in contact with the wall, and was happy to know she hates early hours. I'll shower in the evening then. I rather not have a clock swung to my head or an angry girl barging into the bathroom while I'm indecent.

When I came out of the shower again, fully dressed, I found Mai sleeping on my bed, hugging my pillow to her chest. I look at the clock and leave her be while I start my blank puzzle – the alarm will go of in an hour.

* * *

**Tired... 2:58 in the morning T.T Hope you like it! 2:59 now. ^.^**


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

The only word that described the conversations Mai would sometimes have with Matt was; unbelievable. I couldn't help but listen to the ridiculous subject.

"No, No. Batman could take Spiderman any day. Think about it, all you'd have to do is like, spray some bug spray and Spidey would be incapacitated," Mai told Matt logically.

"But Batman just got gadgets, whereas Spiderman is an actual superhero. He has spider senses after all," was his rebuttal.

"I think you both have it wrong. Superman could kick both Spiderman and Batman's ass any day. Duh," A random boy who I remember was named Bram butted in.

This caused a roar of outrage from Matt and Mai. I was contemplating whether throwing my transformer robot at them would shut them up, but always refrained taking drastic actions. The boy was quickly shooed away and Mai and Matt agreed that Spiderman and Batman could always defeat Superman together. Now the conversation was closed - also because Mello came in and immediately took Matt's attention.

I didn't know Mai's opinion on Mello, but I knew she liked Matt enough to hang out with him if Mello wasn't around. I admit that Matt was a nice guy, he just followed Mello around.

The rest of the day went by quickly, I thankfully wasn't bothered by anyone and now there was only dinner to attend to today. I sat down at the table quietly and twirled my hair, waiting patiently while I gazed at Mai, who just came in with a girl. I think her name was Ellen. Apparently Ellen told something funny because Mai giggled quietly, before sitting down at the table with her.

I quietly zoned in on their conversation to keep me busy while food was being served – cooked potatoes, meat, and vegetables. Pretty regular, yes.

"He's so daring!" Ellen squealed and Mai shook her head. "Still, I cannot even find the courage to fancy Mello." She claimed. Ellen pouted. "Why not?"

"I rather not tell you that since he's listening to this conversation too. Mello! Why are you listening to us? There's a thing called privacy!" She continued, glaring at Mello. Ellen blushed severely red at being caught and Mello snorted. "What? Something important?"

Matt smirked on the other side, boringly poking his potatoes. His hands were jumpy – I guess he wants to go and play his games.

"Probably about something smart, blond and yummy." He smirked bigger while he said it and Mello's obvious confusion, before he caught on and punched Matt's arm.

Meanwhile, I noticed Mai didn't have any meat on her plate. She too, was pushing the potatoes around the plate. She caught me looking before I could turn away and I gazed back at her quietly, knowing there was no point in looking away guilty once you're caught.

"I'm vegetarian." She whispered to me and smiled. Oh really.. I nod before starting on my own dinner, wondering if it would offend her if I would eat my own meat now. Probably not, because it would be ridiculous. She may be vegetarian, but we aren't. Ellen refrained eating it though, happily chattering with Mai and trading her vegetables for Mai's cooked potatoes. I reason she doesn't like cooked potatoes either.

I skipped dessert, as always, and quietly left for my room. Matt had abandoned dinner long before I had, and as I passed his and Mello's shared room I could hear loud music coming from it. I scrunch my nose annoyed and hope it wasn't loud enough to reach in my room. Entering, I was positively relieved I didn't hear any of the loud music. It really seemed I did not have any bad luck for today. I grabbed another blank puzzle with tinier pieces, because I didn't have any homework. I never had. I always finished the homework before the bell rang, because most of the times it was just really easy. I wonder if Mello had the same… probably.

I had already given up on the language classes since I knew all of them flawlessly, and I know that Mello stopped with that one too. L provoked us to keep on going with Mathematics, Algebra, Deductive thinking, Geometry and some other subjects though.

I was halfway with the puzzle when I heard some noise. It wasn't music, and I faintly recognized it as a movie. Mai was watching a movie? I remember she had a television… and of course you could hire some movies at the library. But what confused me more, was the quiet laughing and giggling outside I also recognized as Mai. First, she shouldn't be outside at this hour, if Roger found out he could get annoyed with her. It was rule to get inside after nine PM for all children underneath sixteen years. Then we were allowed until half past eleven. If you're eighteen, you're allowed to stay out for how long you wanted, because, if you didn't had any direct advantage to be a successor, you could leave the orphanage after a while.

I couldn't help myself and curiously walked over to the window, discovering I couldn't see her from that state. It seemed I had to go and get her myself… it would cause trouble if she were to be discovered and grounded.

I leave my undone puzzle for what it was and shuffled out of my room, to the main hall, and opened the front door softly. However, it was allowed to wander around in the orphanage until midnight for everyone.

I walk through the grass quickly and eventually find her close to the lake, enjoying herself with something I couldn't exactly see. When I got closer, I noticed. Tiny little lights were surrounding her and flew around the area. Lampyridae? I never noticed there were fireflies here… scratch that, I never went outside at this hour. It would be impossible for me to notice them if I wasn't here.

I shuffle over to her and watch as she jumped and closed her hands, trying to catch them but failing miserably, I knew as I saw the disappointed look when she opened her hands.

"Evening." I announce myself and Mai jumped, shrieking. I hadn't intended to scare her, but I could've known at my quiet steps and her oblivious state while I walked towards her.

"Near! You scared the bejeezus out of me!" She said, gulping and relaxing. I refrain from raising my eyebrows. Bejeezus wasn't even a word.

"I apologize." I reply, lifting a hand to twirl my hair. "We are not allowed to be outside at this hour." I continued, indicating we should get inside. She shrugged. "I rather be outside at this hour… it's more quiet, and there isn't so much noise." I remember she was sensitive in hearing. Did that mean it hurt her a little when the children would be running all over the place and shouting? Still, she didn't notice me shuffling towards her. Either she wasn't that sensitive, or she was just too distracted by the bugs. When she noticed one got close to her she shot her hand out and grinned playfully, before aww-ing when she didn't discover one in her hand.

"You are too reckless." I advice and she looks at me for a second, wondering what I was talking about. Then she caught on and smiled carefully.

"Does that matter?"

"It does if you want to capture them." This would be unnecessary. She would set them free immediately – what would be the point of capturing them? Mai smiled a little brighter at me. "Sure I want to capture them. But isn't it much more fun if you just fool around and not analyze their every movement in order to catch them?" She rebutted and I dropped my hand from my hair slowly, thinking about this statement. Why would there be any fun in playing with insects? I could understand my fascination with tarot cards and puzzles even more then this odd hobby of hers.

She probably saw that I didn't understand by the way I kept quiet – but I didn't mind and just continued gazing at her. She tried a few more times and failed every time, but she kept on laughing delighted anyway.

"Cahoots." She whispered when she failed for the tenth times and I didn't bother thinking about yet another word that didn't existed. We should really get inside, before one of the caretakers will do their round around the gardens.

Instead of obeying my earlier request, Mai sat down promptly and stared at the fireflies while she lied down on her back. One got close to her and she blew it away which also called her hair to fly and she giggled a little, before holding out her hand, maybe hoping one would fly to her and land on her hand.

"They're making that light because they want to mate…" She murmured amused. "I don't think they're searching any prey, that is."

I wonder why she said that; she must know I was already informed of the reason why a Lampyridae would give of that strange light. Instead I sat down with one knee pulled to my chest, twirling my hair and looking at her facial expressions. Her lips were parted lightly and her eyes wide with wonder for the little creatures above her, her noise scrunched up amused at some thoughts I didn't know.

"Say, what's your nationality?" She asked me quietly and I don't hesitate to respond. It was one of the things were we could cling on, after all. "I'm American." I reply and she smiles.

"Really? I've never been in America." I couldn't remember anything out of my life in there, so I think I could also say I've never been there.

"And you?" It slipped right before I thought about it. I really should spend less time with her; I didn't want her to get the wrong ideas of me communicating with her. I wonder how she might be like when she considers me a friend – I didn't even talk with Linda and she was already a pest to me sometimes.

"I'm French." She replied nonetheless, and she closed her hand before opening it again and dropping it to rest on her belly. "A class less for me to take." There was an evident sigh in that statement and I instantly knew she didn't like the classes we had to take here. She had done the quality test three days ago, and I heard from Roger she was positioned number nineteen in rank. It would be considered impressive, as there were forty-three children in this orphanage at the moment. She was below the halve, which was considered good enough.

"We should go inside." I said again and she nodded briefly, standing up swiftly. I stood up easily and began walking inside; when I noticed she wasn't walking with me. I turn my head to her and see her standing a little distance behind me.

She looked at the fireflies before she looked at me, and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, Near…" She murmured and I was about to inquire why, when a voice stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Near? Mai? What are you two doing here? You know it's past your curfew!" Roger called out annoyed. I tensed and looked at her again. After all, she did have enough of a sensitive hearing to hear people coming. Maybe she was indeed just too distracted by the bugs to hear me.

We obediently followed Roger inside when he ordered us too, and Mai once again smiled apologetically at me, before closing her hands behind her and looking up – distracted. I gaze at her a little while longer before I turn to the floor, wondering how Roger would actually teach us a lesson. Mai was only here for one week, and I never did something wrong. I reason we'll only get a warning.

I was right – we got a mild warning when we arrived at the hallway that would take us to our rooms. I was relieved, and wondered about Mai for a while before she disappeared into her own room. I twirl my hair and meet her again in the bathroom, where she's brushing her teeth.

She smiled and murmured something to me which I couldn't understand with her mouth full of tooth paste. She noticed my lack of response, waved at me for a second and spitting in the sink.

"I said; let's go watch fireflies again later." After the warning Roger gave us she wanted to go again later? Truly, wasn't this something she should do with Mello?

I pick up my own tooth brush and held it still in my hand for a while. "I rather not." I replied and she slumped her shoulders a little. "Guess you're not a trouble maker… Sorry for suggesting. Goodnight!"

I nod at her and she leaves the bathroom, closing the door to her own room. Was it not obvious that he was not a trouble maker? This girl… was hard to understand.


	4. Chapter 4

**Firefly Nights**

_Chapter 4_

**Date: 8****th**** October.**

I was surprised to see Mello here, but then again, he was probably surprised why I was here. I could deduce we were both here for the same reason though. Somehow along the weeks Mello decided Mai was worthy of his attention – I think it's because Matt spends time with her – and probably got to know her better. Mai however, wasn't to keen on Mello yet, but at least she didn't start shouting when he would barge in unannounced. Saved me some of the noise too, fortunately, but I felt a little strange knowing it. Was it something with rivalry? The past year Mello did took it a little further then necessary, and I admit I became more attached to my first place too.

"You both want to see her file?" Roger asks, bewildered. True, he disliked noisy children, and in particular Mello. The boy always caused him trouble along with his partner, Matt. But he would never show that in public. Mello and I knew this, and there were more children who could deduce that. He was kind for them, but he'd rather be in his quiet office then in the common room after class.

I didn't respond while twirling my hair and let Mello do the talking. "Yes." He said boldly, not seeing why he should give Roger any reason. Roger looked at me, as if he wanted a clearer explanation from as to why _I _would want to read it. It'd be stupid if I told him I was merely curious, so I refrained giving him a response, and looked at photograph of Watari on his desk instead.

Mello and I had access to the files of the Wammy's kids, as L's successor we had many privileges. I also know that I can get away with much more then Mello, because of my anti social behaviour. I could easily lie that I didn't do something because I usually didn't do something. They were probably happy I never really lied for my own good. What good would it bring me? Except for the little scene with Mai I hadn't really ever disobeyed Wammy's rules.

But right now I'm getting of the point.

Roger shrugged and doubted for a second. "I guess its okay." He said before getting that look in his eyes that told us that he didn't really care for that anymore. We were allowed to roam through the files of Wammy's, so why should he complain about it.

He stood up, got his keys, walked over to the closet of the last year – they were all selected into years for the kids – and opened it with one of his keys.

Several boxes were stacked and he eventually searched up one, before pulling it out. He opened it and got a file out of it easily, since it was new and stacked in front.

"Do you also want to see her true name?"

Mello made to reply but I interrupted him sharply. "No." I said and Mello looked at me, angrily. Maybe his answer would've been no too, but he was still mad he got interrupted. "Being entrusted with one's name is being entrusted with one's life. If Mai ever wants to tell us it will be fine, but we will not take the courtesy of reading it without her knowing."

That might've been the most I said this day. Mello slumped his shoulders and I suspect he wanted to hear it, but knew I was right and dropped the matter. Roger nodded and took out a paper which contained her true name along with her family, aliases, address and phone numbers from several family members.

The rest of the file was passed on to us, and Mello quickly grabbed it, forgetting me entirely. I'm not even surprised at his uncaring behaviour, and instead shuffle closer to him to read it with him. I saw her birthday, blood type, special features, height… all that stuff. Mello flipped the page and her special ability was explained. Here was also stated that she instantly knew how to analyze a voice, which would come in handy when they ever had an opponent who hides his voice using a machine. That was interesting… I didn't know that was possible at all. So she could easily detect L's voice, because he spoke into a microphone. Of course she wouldn't be able to analyze them if it was simply ticked in a computer.

Mello flipped the page again and I was glad I managed to read as fast as him, it would save me arguments with him if I would request to go back a page.

"Holy shit." Mello said impressed. Roger scoffed at the language but left him alone either way. "She really knows how to mess it up, doesn't she!"

I don't respond and quickly finish reading the page, before Mello flips to pages with random information. I was only mildly surprised with a drinking past. Most of the children had hard pasts before they would come at Wammy's. What did interest me is why she had one when she had a normal family. There would have to be a problem that wasn't written in the file. Plus, she had also been in another family for two years for what the file stated 'behaviour improvement', before running away and staying at an unknown orphanage for three months. Then she was found and taken back to her home. At the age of twelve, she got a drinking problem and was arrested after she deliberately ruined the car of her father.

Normally, this wouldn't be to shocking for a past of a Wammy's kids – we were all 'messed-up', according to Mello – but what caught my interest the most was that she wasn't like the girl in the file. I couldn't even believe she ever ruined someone else's possession, or that she would've had behaviour problems. She was sweet, innocent, kind to strangers, a little shy at that and seemed so carefree. I faintly remember at how she had been jumping to get the fireflies, but discard the memory and look at Roger putting the file back in the closet.

I nodded at him and turned around to leave, all the while hearing Roger ask Mello why he wanted to see it. "Just curious, old man." Came Mello's blunt reply and I shook my head lightly. Though… I had been just curious too.

I went to my room and shut of most lights, since it was already ten in the evening. I didn't feel tired and also double checked to hear if Mai was in her room, which she was fortunately. I grab a two-thousand piece blank puzzle, randomly starting it and keeping no track of time. Eventually it was around three AM and I wasn't asleep yet, I did not feel the need to yet. There were nights I went without sleep, but even I had to admit to taking naps once in a while.

My bathroom door opened and closed quickly, and I didn't even look up to meet Mai's eyes. I wonder what she is doing up so late… maybe another spider?

"Near?" She said, mildly surprised that I was on the ground staring at a puzzle. I shift a little to acknowledge her. In the dark I could see her eyes were slightly wide and red – had she been crying? I narrow my eyes at her while she stands there fiddling with her hands. She didn't move to say anything, so I took the first step.

"Do you need anything?" I ask quietly, twirling my hair. She shakes her head immediately, a little too fast.

She's scared.

But from what? If it was a spider she would've blurted that out. A nightmare? "Will you… you know…" She paused for a second, pushing her ruffled up hair behind her ears. "…Can I stay here?"

That was expected from her obvious state. I wasn't even surprise and shrugged lightly, I wouldn't mind her sitting here quietly.

Wait.

When did that occur? I normally didn't like anyone's presence, even if it was quiet. I narrow my eyes at the girl again, who sat down opposite of me, staring at her hands. Why was I concerned for her at the moment? The question was at the tip of my tongue… why did I fight it so badly?

It must've been confusing for her and I half-knew she debated going back to her own room when she saw my lack of action. True, I had refrained from doing anything when she positioned herself here and had just stared at her blankly.

She shifted a little, clearly uncomfortable under my gaze. I blink slowly, and twirl my hair again. "Did you have a nightmare?" I decide to let it slide.

She nodded faintly, resting her head on the knees she pulled up to her chest. I resist questioning further – it would upset her – and clear out the puzzle, putting piece with piece together.

"Who's L?" She asked quietly and I know I look mildly surprised. She was here for about two weeks now, and she didn't even know who L was? She was nineteen in rank! I decide not to ask her why she didn't know as many others would've done, and just give her a simple answer.

"The world's three greatest detectives."

"…Deneuve, Eraldo Coil… and L." She stated the last name with a bit of uncertainty. I nodded and placed a piece in the corner of the puzzle, looking up at her.

"I heard about Eraldo Coil… he solved a case involving a friend's family once." She muttered, looking at the puzzle for a second. "I never heard of L though."

But that was because she had lived a pretty secluded life. Yes, once you're in Wammy's and you get your hands on a file, most of their details will be revealed, as I had noted before.

"How does he look like?" She asks quietly, genuinely interested. I put another piece of the puzzle in, wondering how exactly I could describe the sweet-toothed detective.

"…Black hair, grey eyes," I started unsurely and she nodded. "He loves candy, and sleeps very little." That was all he could and should really tell about the detective. He could tell Mai that he was a little creepy, but he didn't want to traumatize her for any future meetings that will come.

Mai cocked her head to one side. "Less then you?" How should I know that? I didn't respond to that question and discard the puzzle for a while, looking at her intensely. It always made her uncomfortable and jumpy, though I never bothered doing something about it.

Suddenly her look grew a little colder as she seemed to remember something. "I heard you read my file." Ah, that was also to be expected. Mello would've told Matt and Matt couldn't keep secrets for a long time. Well, he could, but not always.

I didn't respond again and she took this as a confirmation to her statement-like question. "You could've just asked me, you know." She continued softly, keeping her voice from a whisper. Still, no response out of me. Her blue eyes gazed right back into my grey ones, and for the first time I felt guilty. She gave me that incredible look that told me I shouldn't have done it – 'but okay I'll forgive you'.

I don't apologize – why would I – and stare back without even as much blinking. Then her look got a little shyer. "Did you see my true name?"

"No."

"…Thank you."

Was she afraid of that? I wouldn't want anyone have my name known too, but I wouldn't be afraid for it. Everyone in this orphanage knows the rules regarding real names. Suddenly the possibility that might involve her name struck me – it could be different from her parents' name. That did seem likely, about eighty per cent in my own calculations. It would exclaim why she wouldn't behave well at home and why she never responded to Linda's questions as of why she was here.

I felt the need to go to Roger's office and check her name, but resisted it. The last thing I wanted to do is break such a precious rule. I would hate the person who'd try it with me. She breathed in, her eyes closing and opening and she looked at me with those blue eyes of hers. I couldn't help but once again, stare back.

One of her hands shot out to grab a piece of a corner and she put it there, looking at it intensely, before sighing. "That's as much as I can do."

She had grabbed another piece and shuffled closer to the puzzle, looking it over and wondering where the piece should be placed. Without a second thought, I released my hair and took her own hand in my own, guiding her to the place the piece should be. I moved my fingers with her to let it drop there exactly. Then I released her and she smiled carefully at me, a pretty pink colour forming on her cheeks.

She wasn't coming down with a fever, right? She didn't seem to have any of the symptoms except for the rosy colour.

I continued my puzzle slowly again, and felt her eyes on my fingers as I did it. One of the girls came up to me once and asked me how I could possible do it the way I did it, just grabbing it and immediately putting it into place. I hadn't responded because the answer seemed too logical. But yet, when I grabbed her hand I briefly forgot where I had to put it.

I finally looked up after a while and noticed Mai was fast asleep, curled up and her hair sprayed out a little. I almost, almost cracked a smile at how she looked, but instead stand up and pick her up easily – she wasn't that heavy, and I wasn't _that_ weak either – before putting her on my bed and cover her with the sheets. After that, I retreated to my puzzle again, but find myself constantly turn around to check if she was still sleeping.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5**_

_A/N: I am SO sorry for the late update :O FF was being a total (dotdotdot) and I couldn't log in for like two days -.- But eventually, here it is! Enjoy chapter 5 :D_

**Date: October 11th. **

Roger had planned a trip to a huge lake for all the children of Wammy's. The girls couldn't stop talking about how excited they were to be there for an entire day – we would leave for Wammy's again at eleven pm, what made him suggest such a late time I did not know. Nonetheless, dinner was even noisier then normal and I skipped out as soon as I could.

We would leave in the morning and he told the children to go sleep a bit earlier then normal, because not only were we going back late in the evening, we were also leaving early in the morning. Great. I never liked crowded spaces, and even though it would probably be Wammy's only, that would still be over forty people. Plus, I didn't like to swim that much. I don't even know why people would want to swim – it was October and not _that _warm. I don't believe they'll get to swim for very long.

I had left dinner as soon as I could and walked back to my room, closing the door behind me. Even though I would not participate in the activities tomorrow, I packed some stuff nonetheless because you never know what might happen. The possibility that Mai would drag me out to the lake and push me in it was, very high. The possibility Mello would do it even higher.

Something crashed and someone shrieked after I finished packing, and I look at the bathroom door doubtingly. I heard Mai come in about a quarter ago and she had gone to the bathroom. "Dooters!" I heard her murmur loudly, before another crash. I wonder what exactly was going on in there, but I was met with an answer as the door opened with a bang and she stood there, clad in only a bathrobe and wet hair cascading down her neck. She looked flushed and panted a little before smiling carefully when I sighed.

"Where is it?" I ask her quietly and she points over the corner left of the toilet. With no effort I crouch down there, pick up the spider and put it out of the window quickly. Remember the spider epidemic comment? I think they heard it and come here every so often deliberately.

Mai sighed relieved when the window was closed and she smiled brightly at me. "My knight! I wouldn't know what to do without you… Thanks a lot!" She finished and ushered me out of the bathroom again. I complied quietly and she pulled the door closed behind me.

About a half an hour later she stumbled back into the room and I wondered if puberty might have come and hit me after all the years. I had hoped I never noticed it… but this much naked skin was making me a little uncomfortable. Mai stood there in a yellow bikini with some blue drawings on it, but I dared not to stare at them long enough to figure them out.

"What do you think of this one? I need to hear other meanings then those of Ellen. She keeps saying everything is fine."

She twirled around giddy. "Or this one?" She said, holding the baby blue bikini with golden flowers that she held in her hand in front of her. "I also own a black one but that one's WAY to showing. I don't even know why I have it." She thought aloud and I wondered if I should actually respond.

She did have a nice figure…

I sigh lightly, she wouldn't notice. "I think the yellow is just fine." I murmur, forcing my eyes back to the book I had been reading.

"Hmm, really? I think I like it better too. Yellow it is!" With that she sped out of my room again and I hear the thud that signified her door was closed.

An hour later, when all lights should've turned off, Mai slipped into my room once again. Maybe she was just really bored in her own room. I can't say I mind her being here, for a fact I don't mind it at all. Her presence always seemed to make me a little happier, even though I don't show it. I read about it and wondered if I was indeed falling in love. It seems unlikely.

"Let's catch fireflies!" She said excitedly, grabbing my hand and leading me to the door. I let myself being dragged away as usual, and wondered how long she wanted to be outside this time. A while ago she made the change of going to see fireflies on her own to going to see fireflies with me. I guess it must be from all the times I eventually went to get her that she thought I might as well come with her instead of following her later.

She must have learned all kinds of passages to get out of the orphanage from Mello, because in no time we were outside without getting caught. Mai released my hand and ran over to the lake where most of the flies were, immediately jumping up and down trying to catch them.

Without her seeing, I smiled lightly before masking it and sitting down on the ground. She tried to catch them for a good ten minutes until she got tired and sat down next to me, slightly panting. She smiled brightly at me and I pushed the childish blush back to where it belonged. Yes, believe it or not, since a while ago, I actually blush.

"Phew, never get tired of this." She muttered before lying down on her back and staring up at the night sky dreamily.

"Let's sit together in the bus tomorrow." She suggested and I only nodded quietly, twirling my hair and leaning my head down on the knee that was pulled up to my chest. Eventually she dozed off a little and I shook her slightly, suggesting we should go to our rooms. Thankfully, she obliged.

The next morning I was woken by Mai herself, which I had to admit was a more pleasant wake-up then an alarm that kept on ringing.

"Wake up wake up!" Mai said excitedly, pulling me out of bed a little. When my legs were over the rail she smiled happily and promptly sat on the bed, waiting for me to get ready.

"Are you going to swim?" She asks me happily and I look at her for a second before rummaging through my closet.

"It's remotely cold. Why would you want to swim when the water will be freezing? But no, I'm not going to swim."

She pouts at me and I look away from her to grab fresh clothes. Then she sighed and I hear a thud. It must mean Mai decided to lie back on the bed.

"You're no fun. I'm going to swim, or at least try too… I know its cold, but its fun to just _try_ to get into the water! It'll be really cold but I'm sure with a little help from the boys I'll get into it."

What did she mean with a little help from the boys? I shove the drawer close a tad too hard and look at it weirdly for a second, before turning around and heading for the shower.

Someone knocked the door and I wait for Mai to come in, knowing she'll do it when I don't reply. She comes in with a cheeky grin. "Sorry, I needed to get to my own room…" With that she walked through the bathroom and clicked her own door shut behind her.

As soon as I finished showering and opened both doors, she sped into the bathroom again and smiled brightly at me. "Come on, let's go downstairs!" She proposed and waited for me to get ready before practically dragging me downstairs. Some kids stared after us and I knew what they were thinking – wondering, why I would possibly let myself get involved with such a girl.

Once down she occupied herself with a game she had obviously stolen from Matt – it resulted into him stomping down the corridor screaming profanities at her and Mai had giggled evilly, before giving it back to him. Oddly enough I wasn't even the slightest annoyed with her constantly talking about nothing in particular.

And even now in the bus, when she accidentally fell asleep against my shoulder, I didn't get annoyed. I only pulled one leg up to my chest carefully, wondering if Mai hadn't slept well last night and twirled my hair while she was lying against me. It might've looked awkward to the children who stared for a while, but I just ignored it.

Mello and Matt were on the other side, two seats ahead of us and were bickering over a game. I didn't know Mello liked to play games too… but it seemed likely living with a non-stop gamer. Behind me were Linda and Ellen who were talking about the trip non-stop and next to me, Mai shuffled a little before sighing and returning to a silent sleep. She had claimed that she got sleepy of bus-rides and thus the chance she would fall asleep was high – it would be better if she sat at the window so she could lean on that. So much for that idea.

I contemplate putting my arm higher so it wouldn't be struck in such a position, but it would be even more awkward if she were to fall against my chest. I didn't want to wake her up and I could go with the position for another two hours…

Okay, after two hours it was hurting, really. I had already tried to gently push her over to the window, which only resulted into her grabbing my arm even tighter. Now that we were only a few minutes away, I couldn't really think my arm got that much time left.

"Mai." I called out to her, monotonously. She didn't respond and I shook her shoulder lightly with my hand. "Mai, wake up."

With a jolt she awoke, her eyes wide and she bolted away from me. "CHI- Oh, I'm so sorry!" She blurted with a pink colour on her face, and it crossed my mind she had been dreaming about something strange.

Quietly I reached out with my hand, placing it on her forehead. She didn't feel extremely hot. Her eyebrows furrowed while her eyes followed to movements of my hand. "I'm not sick or anything, it's called…" She said and I nodded, taking my hand back to my hair and twirling a lock.

I heard her yawn sleepily and stretch a little, before slumping against the window. "Are we there yet?"

"Almost."

I could hear her make a sound and I guessed it was an annoyed sigh, by the way she had asked me the question. The bus came to a halt and most of the girls ooh-ed and aah-ed at large lake that we could see from a little distance. All Mai did was scoff.

"Roger actually rode in a separate car? How mean!"

I stop twirling my hair and see the black car on the opposite of the road, with Roger leaning against it. He walked over to the bus and the doors opened, children streaming out of it immediately. We waited until the upper part of the bus was empty, before the lower part could get out. Mai had grabbed my hand and led me to the other exit of the bus and got in line quickly for the check-up on our names.

Once done, she quietly released my hand and started to animatedly talk with Ellen about the whole trip, whilst everyone was making their way over to the large lake with a lot of buildings strewn around it. I guess most of them were for eating, and a few for sleeping and shopping.

Suddenly I feel a hand in mine again and I look up surprised, only to see Mai walking next to me, smiling at me before looking around a little. "It's really huge in here, almost like a vacation park!" She stated and I didn't reply, relishing in the feeling of having her so close.

And for the first time in my life I actually cursed. Mentally, of course. It went like this; _Fuck. _Yes, pardon my language.

I believe I'm falling in love, how wrong that might be. I really should spend less time with Mai… but then again, why should I ignore her? She's sweet, pretty, intelligent and – maybe a tad surprising.

"Neaaar?" Mai called out, waving her hand in front of my face and I realize I had zoned out - and my eyes also met a bare collarbone. My hand feels oddly empty and she smiles awkwardly at me, stating we were there already.

"Let's go swimming!" She said enthusiastically and I raise my eyebrows at her. "I rather not. It's cold."

"So?" Mai stated as if it was obvious that temperature didn't matter. "I'm going anyway!" She said, hoping that would convince me to go with her. I caught onto her plan quickly and shook my head. She harrumphed and promptly sat down at the towel next to me, watching me twirl my hair.

"…Even if you are staring I will not join you."

"Pleeeaaase?" She whined playfully and I ignored her. Ellen came quickly and dragged her away, leaving me by myself – thankfully. I might've just stated I was falling in love, but I really didn't care to swim. Instead, I lean back a little and shamelessly stare at Mai, who didn't seem to notice. I wondered if she was actually immune to the temperature.

Close to me Mello and Matt sat down too in their swimming trunks, animatedly talking about something. Matt had decided to go swim after a while, but Mello just continued sitting there like me, we were both smart enough to know it's _too _cold in the water, it is October after all. Out here it might be normal, but there… Though I doubt Mello will stay on the dry the entire day.

"MAAAI!" Matt called out loudly and unembarrassed. She looked around annoyed and widened her eyes when he came running to her, before catching on and quickly moving out of his range, running across the side of the lake.

"NO!" She yelped, dodging his flailing arms. I deduce he wanted to throw her in the water. "STAY AWAY!" She said, panting a little and laughing delighted whilst continuing to avoid him. Matt grinned widely, his Pikachu towel around his neck as a superhero's cape, before taking a stance.

"But I loooove you Mai!"

Ouch, that hurt. Thankfully Mai only laughed at him and threw a handful of sand right to his face. Unfortunately, it missed. Mello looked at me evilly as if he knew what I was thinking exactly – and this time he might be right for I completely ignored him and focused most of my attention on the girl.

Eventually Mai had given up and sacrificed herself, running straight into the cold water and shrieking as it hit her abdomen, cringing and trying to run back. But there was Matt, who already put on his goggles and looked at her evilly.

"In you go!" he said, before splashing a huge amount of water towards her that must leave her completely drenched. I feel a strange sensation in my face and realize I was trying to _grin. _

"Near! He-brbbr-lp!" She shouted playfully before being pushed under water by Matt. She laughed and tried to do the same, but Matt was taller then her and also stronger. I ignore her request because I still believe it's too cold.

That is, until Mello was there. He looked down on me with this fake-menacing look in his eyes, a grin plastered on his face.

Oh boy.

"MELLO!" I heard Mai scream as Mello effortlessly dragged me to the lake. Really, resistance was futile. And I never screamed or begged either, so it must looked silly – me just being dragged with him.

The water wet my feet and I cringe so tiny that no one saw it, but that didn't help me trying to make resistance. "Don't ab-drdr-use him!" Mai shouted out whilst laughing and being pushed under water again.

"DAMMIT Matt!" She said, pulling Matt's hair harshly and he yelped before lowering himself and Mai saw this as the opportunity to shove him underwater. When she did so, she quickly 'swam' up to Mello and me, both already in the water until our stomachs and I wonder how long it would take for my clothes to dry. Mello didn't calculate it too well, because right now we were both shivering and crossing our arms in a vain attempt to higher the temperature of our bodies. Mai completely ignored Mello for Matt swam up to him humming the Jaw's theme (this resulted into Mello snapping at him angrily and being pulled underwater by his feet), and she swam up to me smiling brightly.

"I told you it's not that bad!"

Yes it was bad, very bad. I don't respond and instead settle for a really light glare, but she already widened her eyes playfully at the display of emotion.

She moved in and I shot her another warning glance, but I quickly disowned any angry emotions as soon as her arms locked around my waist. First, I tried not to flinch. I was not used to physical contact and frankly I have never been hugged before.

She buried her face in the crook of my neck and I could feel her face morph itself to a grinning one. "I'll keep you warm, don't worry."

Any doubts Mello and Matt might have with my feelings for the girl were just proven false when I blinked slowly and locked my own arms behind her back, responding to the hug. Matt only grinned and tugged Mello's hair harshly, but Mello had his mouth practically wide open and I would've made a comment about it if it weren't for the girl in my arms.

It seemed too good to be true… "Mai." I said slowly and she 'hmm-ed' in response. "You just made a fatal mistake." I said amused and I could hear her brains progressing that before she moved her head to look at me suspiciously. Seeing the tiny curve of my lips widened her eyes and she opened her mouth to yell at me, but I had already pushed myself forward, sending both her and me right underneath the surface of the water.

Bubbles flowed from her mouth and I quickly released her, pulling her back up and looking at her worriedly. She didn't choke though – she laughed. Loudly.

"Oh… god… Near… you are… awesome!" She said between breaths, holding her stomach and laughing delighted. I crack a smile only she could see and she stopped laughing, before smirking and locking her arms behind my neck.

"Pay back!" She shouted evilly before locking her legs around mine and pushing me back in the water. So this was what normal teenagers did in a pool when they fooled around.

…I must say it is indeed, fun.


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6_

**Date: 29th November**

"Near, hide me!" Mai whined, pouting and standing behind me. I had just passed the halls until I arrived at the hall with my room, where I spotted Mai with Matt and Mello. They didn't seem like they were up to much good. I glance at the girl behind me and back at the boys who smirked and Mai saw this as a cue for explanation.

"It's raining outside and they want me to go out there!" She said, looking at the window who just reflected a lightning a tad too horrified, and I was dimly remembered she was disliked thunder.

"Why would Mello and Matt want to go outside in this weather?" I ask monotonously and Matt pulls out his game. "Oh well, we really just wanted to give Mai a good scare. Guess it failed."

"Ha-ha, it didn't work you morons!" Mai retorted behind the safety of my body. I hope I wasn't meant to be a punching bag… Thinking of my own safety I shook Mai of my back and slowly walked over to my door, pretending to not even be here. Mai continued bickering with Mello and Matt just stood there, giving occasional random comments.

Then Mai cleared her throat. "You should leave! These are my and Near's rooms!" She stated, pointing at the two doors in range.

Matt shrugged, making for the stairs already. He never really put up a fight. Mello, however…

"What are _you _doing in Near's room anyway? Did you guys do the _dirty dirty_?" He asked tentatively and Mai blushed a pretty pink colour before she balled her fists.

"I'd rather do it with him then with you!" She shot back and Mello looked offended before glaring at her. "You can't compare the sheep with me!"

"Yes I can you… you… transsexual!"

"Score!" Matt said, following the conversation and Mello grinded his teeth, looking like he could kill her any moment. "TRANSSEXUAL?!" He seethed. True, Mello did look a little girlish. Would that make him a transsexual? I thought not.

"Yeah!" Mai retorted intelligibly, glaring back at him with the same intensity.

"At least I have options to choose from, you stupid drunk!"

I turn around immediately, making my way over to them and standing right in front of Mai. This conversation got a little too far carried away; I knew when I saw the hurt and shocked look on Mai's face. Mello noticed it too, I could see from the faint glint in his eyes, but to keep his self-respect he kept glaring, now at me. He seemed to be asking for some kind of man-glare showdown which I, as always, ignore completely.

"Shame yourself." Mai whispered watery and I preceded a tiny glare to Mello which told him enough – I never glared after all.

Mello pursed his lips, turned right on his heel, and left the hall, dragging Matt along with him.

Behind me, I hear Mai make a tiny sound which probably signified she tried not to cry. When I turned to look at her, her face was twisted a little, which proved my upper statement. She cast her look downwards and turned to leave for her door when I quietly reached for her arm.

She looked around as soon as my hand made contact with her sweater's sleeve and I retrieved my hand quickly.

"It's okay." She muttered and I mentally sigh, the girl could be so oblivious sometimes. I twirl my hair and look at her while she fiddled with her sleeve, debating whether she should go or not.

"Mello had no right to say that." I said slowly, trying to be a little of help. "I apologize for his actions."

"It's not your fault." She said, doubting a little. Then she gave me an almost bright smile, trying to lighten up the mood. "I'll see you in a few."

With that she quickly sped out of the room, though I wonder if she was really okay or not. As promised, in one or two hours Mai came back in my room and sat down on the bad, sadly looking outside. It was still raining and I deduce she rather not go outside to catch fireflies at this weather. Not that the bugs would be there.

"I can't wait for it to snow…" she murmured and I look up from my dice-set up. "Does it snow often in Winchester?" I shrug and she nods, looking outside again.

"Say… what do people here do with Christmas?" She asks me quietly and I look up again, freezing my movement with the dice in order to not make it misplaced.

"Roger orders a lot of food and has the entire orphanage decorated. There are stories and a present for everyone, and we get free from class for a week." I briefly explain, remembering last year's Christmas. I never stayed long.

"Why do you ask?" I ask her quietly. Wasn't she going to spend Christmas with her family? The look in her eyes proved otherwise and I wanted to cheer her up – though I had no idea how.

"Oh, just wondering… I don't know if I'm going back home next month." She murmured, lying down on my bed with a thump and looking at me. "I don't get along well with my parents, you see."

Should I ask for further explanation? It had always been bugging me, why she would have such a past with such a sweet attitude.

"Dare I ask for more?" I ask her and she smiles a little, sitting up again. "Sure, I don't see why not." Maybe she's just happy I finally talk a little more then usual. Happy with the result she got from endless small-talking.

"What is with you and your parents?" I ask her and wonder if she would answer that. If so, maybe she will ask me questions about my past – something I did not want to tell. But then again, Mai is a bright girl, she should know that.

"My dad died when I was six… and my mom got this horrible rich guy who thinks I'm just a maid he can order around." She snorted and scrunched her nose. "Got me arrested for mauling his car… I didn't even do it! So unfair." She ended with a defiant glare. I was glad to hear she didn't damage anyone's property, but the drinking problem was still itching my thoughts. She didn't seem to go on about that so I looked at her a tad confused. She smiled weakly at me when she got the point. "…Don't ask about that."

I nod lightly and continue to put the dices in order on the towers and I heard her slip from by bed, sitting down next to me. "Gee Near… how long does this kinda set up take?" She asks me, bewildered at the huge set up. I put down another dice.

"This one took me the entire day."

"One day! I'd mess up so many times I would've given up at the half of it!" She said amused, looking at it. I put another one down and grab for the box, but Mai already flipped a dice into my hands. "Ha, that way we can be a team! You put them, I grab them!" She said playfully while holding two dices in her hand and giving them to me when I reached out.

"Say Near…" She caught my attention and I looked at her briefly, before putting another dice down. "Did you ever have a crush?"

That surprised me.

The movement of my hand froze mid-air and don't respond, which must've proven 'yes' for her. She smiled a little at me and then cast her look upwards, leaning down on her elbows. "I think I have a crush myself, but I never had one before – well, count out the super stars… Or the anime guys… Anywho!" She giggled lightly and I glanced at her when I put the dice down.

I pondered; she had a crush? That wasn't good… On Mello? Matt? Maybe she did love one of them and the reason she argued with one of them is because she did not want him to know she likes him. Teenagers tend to do that sometimes. Thoughts seeped through my mind and I found myself getting a little more bitter then appropriate. Jealousy? I think so.

"EEP!" Mai shrieked and she sat up abruptly, but it caused her foot to move and knock down the tower from underneath. She smacked something on her leg which I suspected to be a bug of the kind and I stare at the falling dices, not even bothering to feel sad about it. If Mai was in love… would it be wrong for me to love her? In any case, I shouldn't ever tell her. She would get puzzled and frustrated. Or, I should tell her, and that way I can see if she might have a crush on _me._

Who am I fooling? Why would she have a crush on me? I admit I am not a bit attractive of the kind. I shouldn't get pretty ideas in my head.

But still, the idea she might liked Mello – or Matt for that matter – was frustrating, and at only the mention of Mello's name I felt the rivalry I haven't felt since I was eight well up in my body, stitching itself in the bones.

"Oh Near! I'm so sorry!" She said shocked when she saw the ruined set-up. I twirl my hair and glance at her. "I didn't mean to… oh god I'm such an _idiot_!" Her eyebrows furrowed and she pouted in self-hatred.

"It's okay." I murmur quietly and she seemed to notice my change of mood, since she looked at me quizzically. Without another word I stood up and left for the bathroom, intending to shower before going to bed.

"Near…?" I hear her call out for me softly, but I had already closed the door. Stupid, stupid me. Falling in love with her. Of course she wouldn't love me back. Wasn't I supposed to know most things? I could've foreseen it. And then that idiotic action of mine, ignoring her and pretending it's her fault I fell in love with her. Of course it isn't… I would never, ever blame Mai. Dare I say I _loved _her, and I hated myself for making her think she did something wrong.

I force my glare of my own reflection in the mirror and take a quick cold shower, trying to shove any thoughts of the girl out of my mind. They were quickly replaced with new ones when I returned into my room, finding it empty. But also finding a tiny dice-set up, not that it had any forms. A note was attached to it and I picked it up swiftly, making sure the set-up wouldn't fall.

_Sorry I messed up._

_x Mai_

I'm an idiot, really. Not she. _Damn it._


	7. Chapter 7

**This is the last update until the weekend, so bare with me.. I need to step on a horse again after I fell of a year ago -.- Oh well, best way to get rid of the fright! Hope you love this chapter :D**

_Chapter 7_

**Date: **4th December

"He's here, he's here!" the children squealed and I glance at the front door for a second, before continuing my walk up the stairs. Mello and Matt were also stationed on the stairs, waiting for L to arrive. I haven't seen Mai all day, but I guessed Linda or Ellen dragged her off somewhere.

I sat down on the upper of the stairs, quietly watching as the children fooled around, excited with L's arrival. I wondered if they would jump on him once the door opened… The room went silent when a door of a car was shut, and if Mai were here she would've laughed at their obvious behaviour.

Then the front door opened, showing Watari first and L after him. He was really easy to recognize, only the hunching over was enough to prove it was him. The children immediately bombarded him with questions and stories, and he smiled awkwardly at the attention.

"Children…" He said to get their attention and his gaze went over to the stairs, smiling at me, Mello and Matt. I hope he was going to inform us about the Kira case. Now that he was here, what were they doing in Japan? I guess he wasn't going to stay for a long time, maybe two or three days.

"I'd like to see the top three now." He said, a thumb at his lips, and Mello and Matt rush down stairs where the children had opened an aisle-kind off way. Matt playfully waved at the crowd as if he were a queen and I shake my head lightly, before making my way down the stairs at well, shuffling through the opened space.

"Hey, L." Mello greeted him happily and Matt only gave him his signature grin. I twirl my hair and look up at him slowly. "L." I greet him and he nods back at us in greeting.

"I wish to speak to the three of you. I assume you know what it is about…" Thank you very much; he's going to inform us about the Kira case!

A few minutes later, we were at the abandoned library and L crouched down on a chair before greeting Mello, Matt and me.

When we were all seated Mello immediately began asking questions while Matt was playing with his DS, even though we all knew he was paying attention to the conversation. I kept quiet and just listened, as most of Mello's questions were indeed interesting. Mello did not seem to understand how he could work with his number one suspect – but Mello is always quick to emotional reactions. The conversation went on about an hour, before he announced he still had to see Roger and Watari.

He shot us a cool look. "Mello, Near… I expect everything is okay?" Mello obviously kept in a snort – we both knew he was talking about the rivalry. I was able to handle it, normally I didn't feel it all, but Mello had some kind off inferiority complex going on, making his world shudder when I got a better score on a test.

"Everything is okay." I respond for him and he glanced at me, before turning to L again and nodding. L smiled lightly – probably thankful – and jumped up from his crouched position.

Mello and Matt left the room, me and L following, until Matt crashed down on the floor violently, with someone right on top of his back.

"Ah Mello! GET IT OFF!" He yelped and Mello snorted. Mai made an uncomfortable sound. "Mai, off." Mello said amused and Mai scowled at him, before realizing her position and jumping off. "Jee Mai, watch where you're going." Matt said while he stood up, rubbing his back. Mai raised her eyebrows and smiled weakly, but I saw her former facial expression was either anger, shock or desperation.

L put his thumb at his lips and glanced at her with his normal wide eyes, hunching over a little to get on eye height more.

"I don't believe we have met. I am L." he said bluntly, expecting her to be startled. But even I could deduce otherwise – I had already given her an explanation of him and she seemed a little out of it, there was simply no possibility of her to be shocked at that statement.

"I'm Mai." She replied quietly, her eyes looking at the clock on the wall. Mello snorted again before taking a bite of her chocolate.

"Mai is in her period so she isn't very talk- OUCH! STUPID WOMAN!" Mello yelped when an object was flung at his head – and hit. That would be possible. Women felt uncomfortable in… that time of the month, didn't they? Mello throws the object – which seemed to be a small book – back at her, and she caught it easily, sticking out her tongue at him.

L looked at her amused and she smiled at him. "Well, I have to get going really… I'll see you, Near!" With that she turned around and quickly dashed off.

Mello rubbed the sore spot on his head and Matt snickered. "Near wants to be _involved _with her."

"I am friends with her, Matt."

"Yeah yeah, that's what you _want _us to believe."

I ignore him and don't reply, coolly staring at him and he quickly gave up with his mischievous gaze. Mello and Matt stalked of to some place to do some thing and I was left with L, who quietly walked with me for a while since Roger's office and the common room were in the same direction.

"She seems to be a nice girl." L suddenly said, thumb at his lips. "Are you sure you do not have an infatuation with her?"

To some stroke of luck, my face didn't heat up with this statement. I had always imagined it would, but I was once again remembered I can keep my emotions in tow just perfectly. I don't even glance at him while responding. "Of course not." I lie flawlessly and it hurt a little – I did love her, liked her, had an infatuation with her, wanted to be with her no matter how wrong that might sound from me.

"Are you sure you do not want to re-think that?" He said, eyeing my mischievously and I refrain answering him as he eventually turned a hall for Roger's office. I watch him leave before turning a hall myself, abruptly ending up in the common room.

At dinner, Mai wasn't there, and Ellen had noticed it too. So she asked Roger where she was, which I was thankful for; I didn't have to do it.

"Mai? Oh she's going to visit her family." Roger explained briefly and I poke my spaghetti. I thought she hated her family? Why would she be visiting them? Maybe something important happened and she needed to go. Would she be in her room now? Without anyone noticing, I leave dinner and quietly stalk over to my room, entering hers through the bathroom.

She was indeed, in her room, and she was seated on her bed, looking at something in her hands, her eyebrows furrowed. Then she looked up, flashing me a brilliant smile.

"Near! Isn't it dinner time?"

"I left." I said shortly before walking over to her and sitting down on her bed, looking at the object in her hands. She sighed quietly and handed me the picture before standing up and stuffing some things in her bag.

On the picture were two adults and what seemed to be a miniature Mai with pigtails and a huge balloon.

"I need to visit my family." She murmured in a tune that made me believe she doubted to go. I look at her blankly and she bit her lip before continuing. "My mom gave birth to a baby three weeks too early. Roger lets me go visit her in the hospital…" She ended quietly and blinked with a defiant glance. Maybe she was afraid to see them, afraid of how to act towards them.

Thank the heavens for Mai's spontaneous ideas.

"Can you come with me?" She asks me, looking at me with a pout. I raise my eyebrows a little, wondering if Roger would allow it. She thought of this and before I knew it we were both in the front hall, waiting for the limousine to arrive. Oddly enough, Roger accepted the idea and left us here.

"Well, well, planning a honeymoon?" Mello teased while biting of chocolate. Mai shot him a flat glance. "…Retard."

"WHAT–" He got interrupted by Matt, who screamed 'Yes'. Clearly he won a game or something. Mello wanted to say something insulting, but it was prevented when Roger walked in again, ushering the two boys out and opening the door for us. Mai made sure not to remove her grip on my hand as she skidded down the porch, quickly jumping in the opened limousine.

I carefully got in myself and sat down, immediately recognizing the car as a stranger – it did not belong to Wammy's house. The doors were closed and Mai sighed quietly when the car started riding, squeezing my hand. I guess she was really uncomfortable with the fact she was going back to see her family.

"Is it a girl or a boy?" I ask her when silence followed, and she smiled brightly at me. "A little boy! Can you believe it? I have a baby brother." She said dreamily, zoning out a little. "If only I weren't in Wammy's. I wish I could spend time with him; I'd do everything with him! Teach him his first curses; teach him that 'dad' is an alien, take pictures of when he first walks… Maybe I should just start my own family soon." She ended with a playful pout and I blinked, wondering how her child would look like.

"What's his name?" I asked, intending to keep the conversation going. She smiled silly. "I always thought he'd name him really stupid, like Lancelot. But I guess mom had a say in it. His name is Damian."

I nodded and finally noticed her hand was still in mine, and it gave me a warm feeling. Maybe she didn't like me in my way, but at least she wanted to be my friend. I could live with that too.

We ended up in the hospital in Coventry, and Mai fiddled with her sleeves nervously while waiting for the nurse to tell us where to go too. I thought about taking her hand in mine – but that would be a very unusual action for me and she would instantly know something was going on.

"It's right up the stairs, and then to your left, room number 30 A." The nurse said kindly and Mai brightly smiled at her. "Thank you!"

"No problem honey."

Mai took my hand again and walked over to where the woman pointed, quickly walking up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. I quietly followed her and she smiled at me, probably thankful.

We were in Coventry, but Mai claimed she didn't live here… or at least that's what I assumed when she said; why would they be here? As if she read my thoughts, she spoke. "We – well, they – actually live in Birmingham. I think they might've been visiting someone or something…" She murmured and I nodded while she led me through a hallway and stopped from room number 25 and up. I follow her gaze and see a man with bright blonde hair, a different man than the one on the photo.

"About time, F-" He muttered and got interrupted by a fierce 'ssh' from Mai. Her real name began with an F?

She squeezed my hand softly and looked thoughtful for a second. "Owen." She greeted quietly. "Who's he?" Mai looked at me when he asked it and she smiled at me. "…A friend from the orphanage. His name is Near."

His nose scrunched. "Near? What kind off a name is that?" Mai thought about answering, but along the way a nurse came up to this Owen and told him he was allowed to go inside. He smiled at her and went in, the nurse coming up to us.

"You must be the older daughter! Well, do you want to see your brother?" Mai nodded. "Follow me, then."

I wondered if I was supposed to stay here or come with her, but she already tugged my hand and urged me to go with her. Eventually we stopped in front of a large window and the nurse gave Mai a goodbye, before letting us in the room with the window. I scrunch my nose at the noise all the babies seem to make, but Mai didn't pay any attention. Instead she left my hand and quickly zig-zagged through the cribs, checking their names carefully and stopping at one, smiling brightly.

Carefully, she stuck her hand in, probably to pat him, and I remained where I was, deciding not to interfere. If all she said about her family was true I didn't really expect she would have any more alone-time with him like this.

"Awww who's my cute little bundle of poop?" She cooed and I feel my lips curve slightly at the last word. "Yes you are!" She said over the cries of the other babies and flipped her hair so it wouldn't get in the way. A woman came over to her – a nurse, probably – and told her something. Mai's eyes got wide with amazement for a while before she nodded eagerly and the woman took the baby out of the crib, before carefully handing it over to Mai.

Mai smiled at the nurse and she left, leaving Mai with the cradle in her hand. She smiled brightly at the baby and removed one hand to tickle his face while she cooed at him.

Carefully, with one hand, she grabbed something out of her pocket and I assumed it to be some kind of jewellery, and when she put the baby back in his crib, she gently put it on his chest. She leaned in to give her brother a kiss and then she quickly stepped back, walking over to me and grabbing my hand again, leading me out of the room. She seemed… sad?

Mai walked straight for the exit of the hospital and I wondered; didn't she want to see her mother? The limousine was as expected waiting for us in the parking lot, and without another word Mai got in and I followed her quietly.

Once I looked at her again she had her eyes cast downwards and remained silent until the car began to ride. Then I heard her sniffle softly, and when I looked at her again some tears were streaming on her face. I was right – she was sad. But why? Shouldn't she be happy with a baby brother? Or did I not know enough of the family problem?

Her sniffing turned into quiet sobs and I sat there awkwardly, not really knowing what to do. I know I should comfort her… but I frankly never did that with anyone. I shuffle closer to her a little before I sit right next to her and she tensed a little, letting out another quiet sob.

Carefully I move my hands until one of them is over her shoulder and the other pulls her to me. At least I know I didn't do it wrong when she lets me, burying her face in my chest and curling herself to me, her sobs stifled by my shirt.

About a half an hour later, the sobbing subsided and I looked down carefully to see she her stare at the piece of shirt she had clutched in her hand. Her cheeks and eyes were slightly red as well as her lower lip, she must've bitten it too hard. She didn't move and quite honestly, I didn't really mind this position…

We remained silent for the rest of the hour until we got back to the orphanage. We were let in quickly and Roger told us that if we were hungry we should go to the kitchen to get something, but we had to be in bed at eleven. It was now ten.

Mai went straight for her room and I decided I might as well go to my own as well, seeing I wasn't hungry. Instead of getting ready to sleep I got interrupted by a door closing softly and I look out of my door to see Mai walking over the halls. I guess she was going to catch fireflies… it was a clear night after all. Quietly I go after her, as always. She heard me and smiled at me, slowing her pace and I got up beside her, until she opened the escape door at the library, giving us access outside without anyone noticing.

"Hmm, not many tonight." She muttered when seeing the few shining lights flying about. Surprisingly she didn't jump at them and just stood there, staring up at them.

And then I did something I probably never did, or will do – I did something on impulse. I looked up at one of the fireflies close to my face and analyzed it quickly, before reaching out and grabbing it softly, making sure I didn't squash it.

Mai looked at me with wide eyes – probably shocked I caught it immediately, without as many training as she had.

I lowered my hand and she reached out for it with her fingers softly, waving them over my hand in an attempt to catch it before it flew away. I let go of the bug and she clapped her hands closed, making sure it wouldn't die. Then she opened one tiny hole in her hands and saw the bug in it. Finally she laughed again – well, it was more a giggle.

"Actually they're not that pretty." She said amused before releasing the bug. It promptly sat down on her cheek and she laughed delighted, blowing it off. She smiled brightly at me and leaned in, before planting a kiss on my cheek. Okay, this time my cheeks might've heated – but I was sure it was only a bit.

"Thank you, Near."


	8. Chapter 8

**Five pages**** long :D**

_Chapter 8_

**Date: ****20th December**

It had been raining for the last month. Sometimes it were drizzles, sometimes random rain, and sometimes it would storm. I liked the middle one in particular, because whenever that happened the floor outside would be dirty and muddy and no one would go outside. Mai wouldn't go outside either. Instead of spending her time outside or in the crowded playrooms and common room, she would have these wonderful moods. Cooking moods, playful moods, movie moods, game moods, and much more.

My personal favourite was the cleaning mood. She would clean her own room first, and then she would put both bathroom doors open and start cleaning the bathroom. She would wear a tank top with shorts, most of the times two different socks, and her hair would be up in a messy ponytail, many locks falling down making it almost useless. And she would hum, whistle or sing. Last time she sung 'Happy Working Song' she claimed to be from Enchanted (a movie).

And I would sit almost in front of the opening so I would have a clear view of her, pretending to be busy with a puzzle but really just gazing at her.

Today she was once again cleaning the bathroom – even though it couldn't get any cleaner (I'm not complaining) – and I was once again pretending to read a book. This day she wore a blue and a pink sock, yellow shorts and a baby blue tank top. Where she got the combination I did not know nor did I wanted to know. Her hair was tied up loosely with a butterfly clip and she leaned over to sweep the mirror, humming a song I did not recognize.

She was particularly excited; because tonight would there would be a small party for Christmas (five days away, but still), and even though she should spend it at home she had refused it and tried to make the best of it here.

She saw me looking and I didn't bother to turn away – once you're caught there's no helping to it – and smiled at me brightly.

"Near~" She sang out, skipping into the room and I couldn't help but stare at her waist before forcing my eyes on her face. "You want me to clean your room too?"

_Yes, please._

"No thank you. It is fine as it is."

She shrugged and turned around abruptly, swinging her hips to a tune she hummed and finishing the bathroom clean.

Later that night, when the dinner was beginning, she dragged me down and I couldn't help but think that she looked adorable in white socks, a red skirt, a white fuzzy turtleneck and a red Santa-hat planted on her head. At dinner she blabbered away about random things and as soon as it ended and most of us went to the common room, she found Matt playing a pathetic Santa at the younger kids and decided to join him in the silly play.

There wouldn't be any gifts until the morning, so most of the younger kids gave up soon and left to sleep. I wandered of to my room as well, to get a piece of silence. I was just about to enter the common room again to retrieve Mai when I froze right on the spot – someone calling my name.

"Neeeeeeaaaaaar!" Someone wailed and I turn around just in time to see someone speeding over to me. I was about to dodge, but the person already tripped and landed face flat on the ground.

Mai got up quickly and rubbed her nose. "You could've –_hic_– helped me up!" She accused me, and I look at her for a while, she missed one of her socks and the Santa hat was halfway down.

She was… drunk?

"Matt got all this wonderful –_hic_– bottles in his room!" She said happily, swaying a little. Behind her Matt laughed hysterically because of something what Mello said, and it irritated Mello to no end.

I noticed she had a bottle in her hand, and it most likely contained alcohol. She swiftly took a sip and laughed when Matt started singing. "I wanna fuck you like an animal~" He sung loudly and Mello smacked his head, but Mai had turned around, raised the bottle in the air and whistled at him. "Fuck yeah!" She yelled back and then she giggled uncontrollably, stalking off. I quickly followed her as she walked through some halls, before turning around and pouting at me, waving her bottle at me accusingly.

"You need to stop following me! It's not nice at all!" She hiccupped again and laughed at herself, taking a sip from her bottle. My hand reached out and I forcefully took it from her, putting it down next to the wall. She stared at me bewildered, at the bottle, and back at me again. "Whadid you doooo?" She whined, running a hand through her messy hair causing her Santa hat to fall off and I moved closer to her. She giggled and took a step back, but it failed and she landed on her butt. "Oops! –_HIC_– Awww!"

Cautiously I reached out for her and pulled her up, grabbing her arm tightly and leading her through the hallways, to her room. If Roger found her like this she would be in serious trouble…

"You know –_hic_– Near?" she sang out lazily. "I forgot how _woooonderful _drinking was!" I stared at her, wondering how much she actually drank. I guess a lot. "It like totally washes everything away! All my stupid problems!" She threw her arm around me and leaned against me, a content smile on her face. All of the sudden, she glared at me, and her mouth formed a pout, giving her a defiant and sad look.

"No way you're going to send me to a psychologist, are you?" I don't respond to that. Did her parents sent her to a psychologist? "You wooooon't because you love me right?" She cooed to me, smiling brightly and I again don't respond, but proceeded in dragging her back to her room. Once we got in the hallway close to the ones with our rooms I bumped into Matt who was chugging down a bottle. Mai tried to grab for him but I moved fast and left the hallway, standing in front of her door.

"I don't wanna beee –_hic_– alone!" She stated annoyed. I give up forcing her, and instead walk over to my room, opening it and dragging her in before shutting it with my foot. Carefully I walk over to my bed, sitting her down on it. She grinned widely and lied back down with a thud, closing her eyes. I did not believe she went to sleep though.

"Near islways cute…" She murmured and I look at her quizzically, wondering what she meant. Most of the girls referred to me as cute, but I know it's more like a plushies kind off cute. The way she said it sounded awfully… playful?

She shot up again and blinked to get her sight less fuzzy, before her hands shot out to mine and she pulled me on the bed with her. She giggled childishly and leaned into me, pressing her face into the crook of my neck and inhaling. I blow her hair out of my face for it tickled my nose, gently trying to push her off. Suddenly, her hands got on my back and underneath my shirt, her fingertips moving upwards in feathery soft motions and I lean in a little more, relishing in how her hands felt to my bare skin.

She purred lightly when I unconsciously rubbed my hands against her lower back, my thumbs at her thighs – _What _am I _doing_? The girl is drunk.

She pouts when I push her away with more force and her fingers reach out for my face, touching my cheeks and twisting in my hair. Then she pulled me down and promptly gave me a kiss on my nose.

"Mello didn't like me kissing him! Can you believe that? I mean, you'd say he's really into Matt or something because –_hic_– I think I practically glomped him!"

…What?

She kissed Mello? A kiss like she gave me or a real kiss? Why would she do that, even in her drunken state? Did this mean she indeed, liked Mello? I feel thoughts zoom through my mind and intense hatred towards the blonde, but I pushed it away. It wasn't Mello fault either.

I was once again thankful I could hide most emotions, and push her down on the bed again before covering her with my blanket.

Within fifteen seconds she was passed out and I sighed relieved, before leaving for the bathroom. I guess I won't get much sleep tonight.

Thankfully I had a couch on my room, and as soon as I felt really sleepy I lied down there, watching Mai carefully. I really hoped this accident wouldn't leave marks. I was just about to fall asleep when I hear a soft gasp and I open my eyes to see Mai jumping up, making a dash for the bathroom. Three seconds later I heard a sound that you could define to Mai throwing out her entire stomach empty.

I stand up slowly and make my way over to the bathroom; ignoring the smell and sitting down next to her once I got a wet cloth. She was finished and flushed several times, her hair hiding her face from my view.

And then she cursed. Loud. Followed by sobbing. Ah yes, it left its marks. Maybe she was sober enough to understand what she did.

I carefully push the hair out of her face, and she tilted her head to me, refusing to meet my glance. Slowly I brush her tears away with the cloth before dipping her entire face with it, removing it from its sweat.

"Mai…" I said, catching her attention. Her eyes flutter open, her gaze watery but a little less sad already. "Do you… like Mello?" I ask her quietly, wondering if she would catch on too quickly. Her eyebrows furrowed and she sniffed. "…Mello? Well, as a friend I guess…"

She yawned sleepily and I helped her up, before leading her to her own room. With a thud she sat down and I placed her so that I could cover her with the sheets. Her hand sought mine and she had a semi-worried expression in her glazed eyes, but I pushed her down gently and she sighed, giving in to sleep once again.

As soon as her breathing was even, I left her room and sat down in my own, pondering about her while trying to solve a puzzle. I didn't tell her, but I would have to ignore her for a while because of exams, and Mello and I were given a chance to help the Kira investigation for about a day or two - but this information was disclosed to any other of the Wammy's children.

Normally I didn't study much, but I intended spending every time studying because I wanted to make sure I wouldn't fail because of my thoughts wandering off to Mai.

**()()()25****th**** December – SKIP:O()()()**

I checked on Mai, who was still asleep, and went downstairs early. Several children were up and showing each other their gifts, but I didn't bother getting mine. Mello, Matt and I always got presents personally from L, but after a year or two they stopped interesting me. I would get them later on. Besides, most of the times I got the same as Mello and Matt, and I would see them with their gifts eventually. I hope Mello would leave me alone this day – we had received the scores yesterday and Mello had been, yet again, second.

I sat down to start a tower of cards and fooled around for a while, my thoughts constantly wandering off to the most important things. I blame Mai, though I'm not angry at her. Especially not with how she looks, when she comes into the room an hour later, her hair messy and her face scrunched in a scowl.

"This sucks…" she grumbled and I deduced she was chagrin. A kid jumped over to her with a package in her tiny hands, holding it out. Immediately Mai's scowl disappeared and a glow of fondness took place, as she petted the young girl on the head. With a huge smile she took the present and the girl ran off giggling, leaving Mai with a package.

I curiously watch her, mildly interested what she got for Christmas. Quickly she unwrapped it and she smiled broadly when a box came out of it. When I looked closer, it seemed to be some sort of music box. Deciding it was too loud in the common room she re-wrapped it again so it wouldn't get broken, and she retreated, possibly to put the gift in her room, but not before thanking Roger when he entered the room.

Half an hour later I discover L had given me, Matt and Mello cell phones, with his number already in it. Matt was ecstatic he had a phone, Mello was ecstatic he had L's number and I… well, I just stuffed it in my pocket and left for my room.

Mai's door was open and through that I could see she wasn't in there. Maybe she was outside…I walk into my room and place the gift on the night stand, before walking outside again.

As I had deduced, Mai was leaning against a tree and looking at the lake, and as soon as I took a step she flipped her head over to me and gazed at me. Weird thing was; she wasn't smiling. Even when she was sad she would flash me a smile. Was she angry at me? If so, why?

I stopped when I was close enough at her to hear her and looked her in the eye, which made her look away for a second. "Near…" She started, and I twirl my hair. "Why did you think I liked Mello?"

Was that bothering her? Serious, this girl is pretty strange. Any other girl would've forgotten it the minute later, but Mai always remembered the most unimportant things. That's what I liked to believe, though.

"I just assumed it." I reply dully and she looked at me again, biting her lower lip. "Well, that was a wrong assumption."

"I apologize."

"Are you disappointed of me?" She asks me quietly. I raise my eyebrows just a tad, but it was enough to attract her attention. "Why… would I be?" I ask her, confused, and not really liking where the tune of our voices were going. Mai was supposed to be happy, supposed to hum some kind of Christmas song and she needed to _smile _at me.

"Because I got drunk." She murmured and her eyes flickered with what I assumed to be self-hatred. I took one step closer, trying to comfort her a little.

"That wasn't your fault." I tell her and she blinked angrily at me, her entire mood swinging over. "Of course it was! Why are you always telling me it's not my fault when it is! I'm not a kid, Near!" She half shouted at me and she clenched her hands. "You won't make it better that way!" I look at her – probably incredulously, but I keep my face intact as she scrunched her nose in annoyance.

"Fine! Don't respond, be emotionless… it's not like I expected different from you." The twist in her voice told me she did expect that. Maybe she was good at lying, but since I see through people's lies most of the times she couldn't adjust to me.

"Would you be sad if I left, Near? My mom allowed me to go home; I could go anytime I want! I don't have to stay at this stupid orphanage… I can go and live back with my family again." She challenged me and I knew she was purely trying to get some emotions out of me. Still, the idea she would go back home and never come back here was like an icy hand around my insides.

"I bet you wouldn't even _remind _me." She spat angrily and my fingers let go of the lock of hair, awkwardly resting it beside my body. "You'd just go on with your stupid puzzles and toys… You wouldn't miss me…" She blinked, forcing something wet back and I realize she was on the verge of crying. I let her ride her rant out though, silently listening to her and wondering what caused this outrage.

"I'm guessing you think about it right now, guessing how much would be true of it, deducing it to some kind of percent like the smart-ass you are." She continued. "And I guess it won't _ever _cross your mind that I, I would miss you…" The last words were said with a mix of venom and the old gentleness, but she refused giving up. Instead her eyes lost some of their fury and her mouth curved a little to a sad almost pout. "Why did you ignore me…?" She asks, nearly whispering now and I instantly remember I haven't told her about the exams yet. I was planning on doing it this morning, but she was still sleeping then.

"I thought you hated me… of what I've done…" She crossed her arms; it seemed more like she held herself. "You weren't in your room and overnight you locked the door or you were absent… I don't understand you, Near." I look at her while she said the statement, and wonder if she was going to say more. I would have to say something soon but right now I rather not. Instead I take a step closer again, but she took a step back, her back making contact with the tree.

"I was studying." I briefly explained, leaving the Kira case out and she blinked, still remotely glaring at me. I guess she either didn't believe it – or did and thought it wasn't a good excuse; probably the last one.

"If that is true," She snapped. "Then why didn't you tell me? Didn't think that my brains could handle it?"

Near sighed – he was getting annoyed. "Mai, would you stop over-reacting."

"Over-reacting?!" She shrieked. I would've winced had I not been paying good attention to her. She took a step closer again and scowled at me. "You have no right to say that! Perhaps I am over-reacting, but what's it to you! You never seemed to care before!"

I absentmindedly twirl her hair again.

"Will you _stop_ twirling your hair and _listen_ to me!?"

"I am listening to you, Mai. I always listen to what you have to say." I said dully and she was taken aback by that statement, lowering her voice a little. "Look at me…" She said and I raised an eyebrow. "I am looking at you."

"No, _look_ at me." She insisted. I didn't get it – I was looking at her right? I shifted my gaze a little and stared her right in her eyes. She blinked surprised and I guess that was what she meant. "Why don't you open yourself up for me…?" She thought aloud softly, and I realized she had been signalling at _my_ own eyes, the feeling I did not display in them. Her hand moved out and I looked at it until it met my cheek, touching it softly.

"I missed you." She then stated slowly. "I think… I think I have a…" She stopped, biting her lip and looking elsewhere for a moment. "…A crush on you."

My entire world just stopped, if that was even possible. I would've smirked at my appearance had I been a third person here, for my eyes widened slightly and I couldn't even explain all the emotions running right through my body, all the thoughts seeping through my mind.

The weather decided to butt in – it began to drizzle a little and I squinted my eyes briefly, before blinking. She was frozen right at her spot, blushing furiously and staring down at the ground.

I don't think she took my lack of response well, and I immediately scolded myself for keeping still. "We should get inside, we might get a cold." Mai said abruptly, trying to walk past me. As soon as I noticed she began walking I grabbed her arm and stilled her. She still had that beautiful colour on her face and she refused to look at me.

"Mai…" I breathed out once I found I had enough sense to talk. She flutters her eyes to me for a brief moment before staring at my shoulder and I take a step closer. I repeated her name again and she looks up at me doubtfully, a glint in her eyes tells me she's about to apologize. I lean down a little and brush my lips against her cheek. I frankly never kissed someone, so I lacked all experience. She looks in my eyes bewildered, and I wonder if she was going to ignore it or respond to it.

Thankfully, her being Mai, she didn't even thought about ignoring it and she shifted her face a little, until my lips rested on hers. A shot of electricity went through me and I watch her eyes close, before doing the same. Carefully, I slid my hand down her arm before I intertwined my fingers with hers, holding her there. She pressed on my lips a little harder, and it crossed my mind she was just as inexperienced as I was. Comically enough, we both have no idea what to do.

"Everyone inside!" A caretaker yelled when it started raining harder and we broke apart with a start. I probably blushed as heavy as she did, but I covered up most emotions when she smiled at me, carefully took my hand again, intertwining our fingers and leading me back to the orphanage.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN (read :D): I'm not going to post anything for the next three weeks - vacaaation! Sun, sea and sand baby! And-uh, I don't get other chapters prepared... yeah, the weekend was hectic so I didn't find earlier times to update. Sorry! **

**Should I do a Near one-shot or a Mello one-shot... My second personality says Mello, but the clown says Near and then this weird grasshopper with a tail and ears jumped in my mind to say he likes pocky. Makes sense, doesn't it? ****I'm talking to myself now.**

**ENJOY THE (longer) CHAPTER! :D**

_Chapter 9_

**Date: 2****nd**** April (SKIP :O)**

Last few months had been a little awkward, well that is until Mai said something in the way of – Screw this! – And gave me a sloppy kiss on my cheek, holding my hand and lying against me, which resulted into awkward cuddling on my part.

After a week or so I got more used to her physical attention towards me and tried as much as to return it, but it was still a little uncomfortable… she didn't mind. At night when she couldn't sleep she would shamelessly crawl in my bed and curl herself up against me, and I would allow it, just as she allowed me to stare at her whenever I felt like it, without getting joked upon. Eventually she would smile slyly at me and every action would be exaggerated, amusing me.

And as far as I knew no one of the orphanage knew it yet… Linda and Ellen were her best female friends, so if she would've told them word would spread around fast. And clearly Mello and Matt still made suggestions; they didn't know it either. He wondered… he didn't mind people knowing, did she?

After a long Saturday I was glad to return to my room and wait for Mai to show up and tell one of her many adventures of the weekends. She would always have something to tell, and whether she repeated one from the day before I would listen to her anyways and if she wanted me to, I would comment.

As expected, I heard Mai's door shut and waited for about ten minutes before she came into my room, grinning sheepishly at me and sitting down next to me – closely, as she tended to do. I glance at her briefly, acknowledging her, before turning to put another piece of the puzzle in its place. However, I immediately stopped once I felt her fingers in my hair, tugging lightly on my locks and she knew she would attract my attention with it – for I loved it in some kind of sick way. I don't know why and how, but she _knew _it.

She smiled sheepishly at me again with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "So yeah, I talked to Ellen today… and asked her some stuff. She did _a lot_ for a girl her age." She rolled her eyes and I move over to look at her a little better. Then she shifted a little closer again, making me incredibly aware of the small distance between us.

"I need you to stay still." She said nervously, a silly smile on her face. I refrain raising my eyebrows and sit still; waiting for whatever action she would take. With a determined look on her face she leaned in a little and pressed her lips against mine, her eyes closing just like mine. At least I got used to the times she randomly kissed me or touched my face.

Suddenly I feel her mouth open a little and she licked my lips, and it immediately came to me what she was asking for. I couldn't help but blame curiosity, and I slowly opened my mouth for her, feeling a victorious smile on her lips in the kiss. I felt her move closer again, until her knees were touching my legs, and she slipped her tongue in my mouth, softly touching mine with hers. Momentarily, I feel my brain shut down and I put a hand on her neck, holding her where she was, uncertain of what to do. Mai continued however, all I needed to do was follow her. She moves her tongue against mine, so soft it seems like dancing, and eventually I mimicked her, making her sigh happily. Suddenly she parted, breathing in deeply and an even deeper red colour on her cheeks then before.

"…That went well." She said nervously and I smile lightly at her, the smile I'd only show her, and she smiled back, curling against me while I continued doing my puzzle. Thanks to her wandering hands however, it took me a tad longer then normal.

The next week, Roger had yet again planned a trip to a hotel. Fortunately this time there was an indoor pool he hired entirely for Wammy's and besides; it wasn't that cold anymore.

Mai was ecstatic – no doubt she loved swimming or sleeping somewhere else – and insisted on me coming with her. I had the choice to not come, but she told me that if I would do that she would stay here too and whine at me all weekend. I rather go with her and do nothing there then try to do nothing here with her complaining next to me.

"Neeear!" She calls out sweetly and I look up briefly, seeing her bounce in her room with her hands behind her back. Finally I discovered what the patterns on her yellow bikini were – stars. Besides, the entire orphanage already knew of my involvement with Mai, there was no reason why I shouldn't stare.

"Can you strap me up? I can't bend my arms like that… Gee, I should work out a little." She murmured to herself while turning her back to me.

I gently take the straps and tie a knot in them. She smiles sweetly and me and skips out of the room again, probably ready to pack for the weekend trip. A half an hour later, her smile was replaced with a childish pout at the one and only Mello.

"I'm not gonna pair up with sheep!" He said, extremely annoyed. Yes, we were sleeping in pairs in order of the alphabet. Right after Mello came, of course, Near.

Matt punched his fist in the air. "Yay~" he said, wrapping his arms around Mai's waist and I narrow my eyes at him. "We're gonna have loads of fun! I'll show you how my newest game works…" Mai shot him a flat glance at that and glared at Mello. "Don't be such a baby!" Mello's eyes widened even more, if that was possible. "BAB-"

Matt pulled Mai behind him, playfully glaring at Mello. "Don't hurt my roomy!" At that Mai laughed and pushed Matt out of the way, glancing up at Mello mischievously. "Why don't we switch rooms? You get Matt, I get Near."

"Absolutely not." Roger said as he passed by and Mai looked at him quietly, Mello startled slightly. I take it Mai had heard him coming. "I am aware of your relationship with him Mai." He said sternly and Mai grinned lightly. "There will be no switching."

With that he left and Mello leaned in closer. "Fine, we'll trade." He said and Mai winked at him before pushing Matt away again who tried to hug her desperately telling her not to leave him, and skipped over to me, a bright smile on your face. "You don't mind, do you?" She asked quietly and I don't respond, which is enough of an answer for her.

"Come on, you're my personal pillow…" She takes my hand and intertwines her fingers with mine, dragging me to the front hall and out of the orphanage to wait in line for the bus. Within a quarter we got in and we waited for our baggage, before the bus started the movement. As expected, ten minutes later, Mai was fast asleep against my chest, clutching my shirt and I look at her awkwardly, before ignoring it and leaving my arm to rest loosely around her.

Mello glared at me for a second before returning to talk with Matt, and I know it's because he hates the fact I do show emotion towards Mai when she's affectionate, but not at him when he bullies me. Roger said the trip would last about four hours, and I honestly wonder if I was going to last that long. Mai has a tendency to clutch things – _hard_ – when asleep.

Thankfully, Mai refrained doing that this trip and I had my expression completely neutral the entire trip, even when she woke up and rubbed her eyes sleepily.

"We there yet?" She murmurs and I look at her while moving my hand to finally twirl my hair. I didn't need to answer because right then the bus came to a screeching halt and the majority of the children inside pressed to the windows, looking at the large hotel. Mai scoffed and pointed at the separate black car outside and smirked at me, before leaning her head on my shoulder and sighing tiredly. We waited for the… overly active children to get out before the less happy children got out. As always, Mai held my hand or I held her hand – take your pick – and babbling away. I'm not really listening, but I know I will remember every word anyway.

As soon as I got the key to our room – according to them it was still mine and Mello's room – and opened the door, Mai ran inside to claim a bed. I would've smiled at her antics had I been more comfortable with showing emotions.

"Well, the good thing is that Roger's gonna leave us all alone." She stated with her face planted in the pillow. "So he won't know Mello and I switched anyway." I nod even though she can't see it and put my baggage at the other bed, sitting down on it and pulling a knee op, staring at the wild mass of reddish brown hair on the other bed's pillow.

"The bad thing is," She then said, leaning on her elbows and popping her head up to look at me mischievously. "You're gonna be stuck with me for three… or two… huh…" I motioned three days with my fingers. "Two days! One nights, two days and a bus ride back!" Personally, I don't mind. At all. Really, why should I? Because she tended to be overly happy, affectionate or extremely talkative? I could live with that. Funny how that works, I would only tolerate it from her.

"Do you wanna go and look around?" She asked me sweetly, a pleading smile on her face and she looked at me daringly. I look back for a while before giving up and nodding. At least she didn't want to do anything that involved a crowd. She smiled brightly at me reply and kicks out her shoes to replace them with slippers. Then she jumps up from the bed and waits for me at the door. I quietly walk over to her and she took my hand before leaving the room with me and shutting the door closed with a 'tap'.

"According to Roger this place is really fancy… only rich people come here. Including us, apparently. But they have pools, saunas, enormous yards we _must_ see, a few restaurants, and more things I didn't bother to remember!" She said happily and I twirl my hair, wondering how long 'looking around' would take.

"Near! Are you listening to me?" She said, stopping and looking at me half-seriously. I glance back at her, slightly startled at the sudden stop. "You were talking about wanting a pool in the orphanage."

She smiled brightly at me and squeezed my hand before continue dragging me throughout the hotel. A good two hours later we were _finally _done and I was enormous glad she didn't push me to go to dinner with her. First, she insisted on staying with me, but when her stomach made such loud noises it became annoying, I gently urged her to go, and she eventually complied.

The rest of the evening I got only dragged out of the room once, but for the rest I was pretty much left alone – thankfully. Mai was singing softly as she did those things women do in bathrooms when preparing for sleep. I sat down on my bed, pulled on knee up and glance at her through the open bathroom door. She wore boxer shorts she claimed she wore for bed and a tank top, her hair in a messy ponytail high up on her head. She finished what she was doing, turned of the light and sped out of the bathroom, uncomfortable with darkness. With a hop she jumped on her bed, sitting on her knees and smiling widely.

"…Wanna tell creepy stories?"

I don't reply and she pouts at me, before chuckling playfully and blowing bangs out her face. "Naw. It's not like I know any good ones anymore… Oh well! What about Truth-or-Dare? Old-fashion board game? Shadows on the wall caused by a flash light?" She glared friendly at me and then smirked evilly. "…Seven minutes in heaven?"

The way she said it meant it was a big deal. But yet, I have never even heard of it. This must've been easy to see on my face, for Mai frowned at me. "You don't know that?" I shake my head and she sighs, puffing her cheeks out a little.

"What is it?" I inquired softly and she smirked devilishly, clearly signalizing she won't tell me. Oh well, I wasn't that interested. After about ten minutes we turned the lights off and I heard her rustle and twitch in the bed, sighing annoyed a couple of times and rearranging her pillow. Good thing I didn't sleep much, then.

We were about a quarter further before she sits up rapidly, swinging her legs over the rim of the bed and staring at me intently in the darkness, trying to figure out if I was awake.

"What is it, Mai?" I ask quietly and she smiles lightly at me, cheerfully. Then she got up and hopped over to me. "Can I sleep with you? I hate my bed."

"Why?"

"It's an unfamiliar bed. It took me AGES before I was able to sleep in Wammy's."

I thought she liked sleeping somewhere else? Maybe only the thought of being somewhere else, not being in some other bed. "I am sure my bed feels the same like yours."

"Yeah… but," I already shifted a little when I saw the pretty blush on her cheeks. "Yours got you in it." She muttered quietly and I open the sheets, showing her the room I made for her and she smiled brightly, crawling in. Thankfully it wasn't a small bed – not that it was a king-sized bed, but if I held her wrists I wouldn't fall off.

"I won't twitch, I promise."

I have yet to see that before I believe it. I hold her wrists anyway and she pouted at me, telling me this is also not very comfortable for sleeping. She wiggles her wrists up, still in lock with mine and puts them between our chests, holding them there with an annoyed expression on her face. "Let me gooo." She whined and I give her a tiny smirk, holding on even tighter. She sighed as if her next step was an unwanted idea and snuggled closer to me, making me tense.

"Fine, don't let go." She whispered and she kissed my neck tenderly. I'm sure blood flooded to my cheeks, but didn't pay attention to it for no one could see it. I'm sure I would have it under control by the time Mai would look up again. She pushes and presses her head so until it's buried in the crook of my shoulder and blew against it, before the moving ceased and I realized with a positive feeling she settled down to go to sleep. Gently I rest my head on her hair and relish in her violet like smell, closing my eyes and trying to go to sleep as well, hoping I might just get an hour or two.

"Tomorrow we're going to swim!" She whispers.

Oh great.

The next day I didn't even need to be woken, as expected I slept for a mere hour and continued the rest of the night glancing at the girl who practically forced her way into my arms. I had to admit – she did look rather sweet when she was asleep. Not that she didn't look sweet when she was awake – it is just a significant difference.

Around eight am, I got tired of lying on the bed uselessly and made an unfortunate twitch, causing Mai to wake tiredly. She tightens her eyes as if she blocked out sunlight and tried to stretch, before shooting her eyes open in the realization she was in bed with another.

"Phew!" She brought out when she saw it was me. "I just thought I had a slip… oops!" She said unusually cheerfully for the morning and she detangled herself from me a little. Although, not completely, ands she stared up at me with a mischievous look. "Morning~" She chirped and I glance at her monotonously, causing her bright smile to disappear and her hands to pinch my cheek softly. "You're cute." She said, blushing lightly and smiling again. "But I think it might be better for you to remove your arms now. Don't want me to get the wrong impression, huh?"

With a start I realize my arms had been around her – don't ask me why – and I release her quickly, nearly sending me to tumble of the bed. Mai laughed delighted at my slip and sat up on her knees herself, her elastic band in her hair slipping and releasing her reddish brown waves. She plucked them annoyingly. "I could go for an afro." She murmured while she looked at her bangs distastefully. She caught me looking and gave me a toothy grin, completely ignoring her hair again and I twirl my hair idly, sitting up as well. Suddenly she leaned in quickly and closed her eyes, pressing her hands again my chest and moving in to press her lips against mine. As always, I remain unresponsive, and when her lips meet mine I carefully press back, my hand leaving my hair.

She smiled lightly and shifted closer, deepening the kiss and I rest my hand at her cheek, nearly feeling the warmth radiating from it. And as sudden as it started, as sudden as it stopped. Mai jumped up, babbling about the pool and throwing me my bag, telling me to search for my swimming trunks. With that, she left to the bathroom with her yellow bikini.

Four hours later, when we finished late breakfast – brunch, I believe – and wandering around, I found myself being pulled to the enormous pools inside the hotel. I glance at it timidly – I hate crowds. Especially crowds I know, or who knew me. It was already awkward for me to show some affection towards Mai, but now she wants me to go and have fun… I really just want to go back to Wammy's and do a puzzle or anything of the sort. As soon as we both changed she grabbed my hand again.

"Oi Sheep! Don't get lost in the water!" Mello called out and Mai snorted at them before experimentally dodging a flying ball. "That thing is for light-weight people, Mello!"

"WHAT?! Are you calling me _FAT_?!" He shrieked and Matt burst out in laughter after he came to the surface from the water. On better sight, not many children of the orphanage were here and it crossed my mind we had a majority of teenage girls – who of course want to go shop in the new neighbourhood.

"You bet I am! You chocolate-eating maniac!" Mai shot back before hiding behind me when a splash of water was caused by Mello and Matt at the same time. Leaving me completely drenched. Mai laughed delighted before hugging me from behind and Mello snickered at me obvious displeasure. "Let's go to the other pool… I don't wanna get killed yet." She said with a teasing glare at the pool with Mello and Matt and they – well, only Mello – snorted, before continuing their fooling around. I was dragged to another small pool nearby and decided to just get it over with and step in quickly, hoping this would be over soon.

Mai, however, noticed my discomfort. This didn't encourage her to do anything about it. It _did _encourage something that multiplied it – but also got my mind out of it. She laughed delighted and leaded me to a more secluded spot, before turning around abruptly and walking over to me, stopping really close. She smiled sweetly and I knew what she was thinking, or at least hoping for. Oh well.

I lean in and press my lips against her, resting my hands at her back and she sighed contently, locking her arms behind my neck. It crossed my mind I was getting better at accepting her physical attention, but that really didn't stay long in there because of the kiss.

And not just any kiss, no, she just decided to slip her tongue with it immediately. I made a funny sound when she did it, before responding again. Her fingers suddenly wove them in my hair and tugged it playfully.

The thought that did cross my mind and stayed was how exactly Mai had managed to bring so much more out of me. Never had I dispatched any of my emotions, and just a simple touch from her was enough for my mind to stop working for a second. It was weird experiencing it – I still wanted to be alone and do useless things, things that kept my fingers busy and I wanted to think twice about stuff that didn't matter, or trying to analyze people at every point. But at the same time I wanted her to be next to me, to touch or hold me, to chatter about things that weren't important and to break the silence with her laugh.

"Oi, you perverted geezers!" I hear a voice I recognize as Ellen yell. "Go mind your own freaking business!" Mai giggled in the kiss and she smiled widely before parting and looking over her shoulder, grinning at Ellen who just came in.

She looked back at me again and nuzzled her face into my chest, closing her eyes. I mentally smile, and lean my head on hers, smelling her violet-scented hair.

"You smell nice." She stated and I buried my nose in her hair. "You too." I said, slightly muffled and she giggled before looking up to me. "You're just saying that because I said it, didn't you?"

I don't respond and kiss her forehead softly, before lowering down a bit more and kissing her on the lips.

"Ew, dude, get a room!" Mello suddenly said and Mai turned around instantly, glaring at the boys in the pool next to us. "You don't _have_ to watch." She pointed out for him and Mello snorted before dragging Matt somewhere else. She glanced up at me again, smiling lightly.

The rest of the day more likely passed as a blur – not exactly, – and nothing interesting happened. Until now that is. Roger had found out Mello and Mai switched places – I guess Linda had something to do with it – and was giving us a lecture right now. Matt and I were kind of on the side line, but we were certainly part of it and watched well.

Until Mai stepped in. "Roger, if you want to imply _sex_, just say so." She said after an embarrassing lecture about me having a relationship with Mai, and for that we were not allowed to sleep in the same room. "I mean, come on, I'm _fourteen. _I don't even think – wait, scratch that. Um…" She thought about sexual intercourse? It ran through my own mind and I fought an awkward blush, keeping my fact entirely cool. "Well… I'm fourteen. Near is fifteen. We're supposed to do that stuff after about, I don't know, three years?" She put her fingers at her chin and looked up, giving Roger more embarrassment to worry about.

And as her plan had been, Roger excused us quickly and we were able to go and pack again, for our trip back. She shut the door to our previous room with her foot and skips over to the bed, whistling a song. As soon as I made to stand at my own bed she stopped whistling.

"You ever think about it?"

… How was I supposed to respond to that? Should I keep quiet? Maybe it would give her the wrong assumptions. Should I lie? Tell the truth? …Did I think about it?

"…Honestly, I did not." I decide to reply. It was an honest reply. Sure things more then kissing went through my mind sometimes, but it wasn't particularly on my thoughts. She smiles and shrugs. "Oh well. It's not on my mind 24/7 either. But you know… makes me wonder."

I think it was safe to say this was a very, very awkward conversation. On my part. Mai never had awkward moments – she didn't have the sense for that. "Ah well, it's not gonna happen anytime soon anyway." It wasn't? "Besides, I still need to teach you Seven minutes in heaven." Curse my thoughts! I never really thought about sexual intercourse, but her remark at Roger made me think about it! It was wrong as she said – we were too young anyways, no thoughts should be used on it. But still… Stop this nonsense! I scowled at myself and covered it up quickly when she looked at me again.

"You know, I actually slept better in your bed…" She murmured and I failed removing the thoughts – thank you Mai, thank you very much.

She laughed delighted at something I didn't understood before sitting down on her bed, combing her hair quickly. I zipped my bag closed and sat down too, watching her do it, as the bangs fell back in place again. She noticed me looking and smiled at me before scrunching her nose at a clit in her hair. She was sweet, adorable, cute, beautiful, heck even sexy. All the words I never would have used. She was all those things.

"I love you."

She froze completely, brush in her hair, eyes widening considerably. Then she lowered her brush and looked at me, her hair swishing around her shoulders, her mouth open slightly as if she wanted to repeat what I said in confusion. I stare right back at her, twirling my hair.

The staring continued for – if I am correct – eleven seconds before she threw the brush on the bed, jumped up and sat down on my bed, a pretty blush on her cheeks.

"…I love you too." She murmured, looking down at her hands awkwardly. I let my smile break out again and she notices it, smiling back carefully.

Eventually, I came to an agreement. Mai was my puzzle and I would need forever to solve her – but she would be worth it…

But the clutching during bus-ride sleeps needed to be removed. Yes, I was sure of that as I slowly feel the blood start running through the veins of my right arm.


	10. Chapter 10

**_AN: _You guys are SO lucky XD I had a BUNCH of inspiration and wrote until my fingers hurt - and even further - and now my parents are practically cursing at me to hurry up already in order to catch the plane.**

**You better enjoy it! :3 And see ya in thee weeks ^^ **

_Chapter 10_

**Date: ****20****th**** May**

"You're going to Japan?" Mai said, confused and slightly amazed. I nod and turn from my puzzle to look at her reaction more carefully.

"…Why?" She said eventually, probably thinking Japan would be amazing – she always talked about foreign countries and that she wanted to go there later. I twirl my hair mindlessly. "L needs help on the investigation." I explain briefly. Mello would be coming too, but Matt would stay here. I'm sure he'll be enough of a replacement for me and Mello according to his friendship with Mai.

"How long will you be away?" She then asked slightly coolly, but the tiny smile told me she was a little jealous.

"…I don't know." I answer truthfully. It wouldn't be over a year or something, but it might take a while. According to Mello, L wants us to stay there until the Kira case is solved. I believe otherwise – it could take months before it's solved. From what I heard it was a difficult case – difficult enough for L to take months. "A while."

"A shorty or a long?" She asked, eyes at the ceiling in thought, before she looked at me again. I shrug and she pouts at the incomplete answer before looking mildly worried. "When are you going?"

"Tomorrow."

A frown appeared on her face – she was thinking why I didn't tell it her earlier. "I just heard it this afternoon." I quickly explain, seeing no need for why I would make her angry. She nods and looks around the room, eyeing the suitcases in the corner. She had asked for them – and I had given her the answer. "Okay." She said and nodded, before giving me a bright smile. "If you don't write and call me – you won't be able to return." She said and I blink before smirking lightly at her antics. At this she lets out a delighted laugh before jumping up from my bed.

"You should pack!" She exclaimed, waltzing down to the bathroom door. "I'll come and get you for dinner."

**Date: 16****th**** July**

I sigh lightly when I press the buttons to get the computer working. I didn't mind working with L – but I'd like to go back home at the moment. And maybe – I admit it – Mai has been itching in my thoughts right now. Pretty stupid for _me_ to get homesick. But then again, even Mello complained about it – and he loved it here because he could see L daily. And, the fact she's been pretty cold and silent lately. First she kept on whining she didn't find it nice to talk to a letter on the screen with me able to see her, but lately she just asked the same things or answer my questions, and then we would hang up. Truly, she was a mystery I wouldn't get to solve.

The computer made a beep and I open some files before clicking on Wammy's house. Mello grunted his greeting at me and sat down on a random couch in the room, when I clicked the button to call Wammy's.

It ringed a few times before Roger got into the picture. "Near?" He asked doubtfully. I reach up to twirl my hair.

"Correct. Roger, I call to inform you we will be leaving in a week." I said and he nodded, a polite smile on his face. "Okay, I will start preparations."

"Good. Now, I would like to speak to Mai." I said, wondering if my voice was also robotically changed by the communicator. Through the camcorder I could see Roger sigh.

"She ran of with Matt. Left a note saying they'll be on a vacation in France." He said in a dead-pan voice, and Mello perked up behind me. Mai was on a vacation in France with Matt? How could she aff- no wait, I know she could afford it. But why would they go? How did they sneak out? "And you are not going to get them back because…" Mello asked, standing behind me.

Roger looked at the screen quizzically before re-adjusting his glasses. "I believe Mai could use some time off." He explained. Interesting… Mai needs time off. I wonder what the cause is. As I hoped, Roger continued explaining. "I thought she would've informed you about it when you called her, Near." He said confusedly and I sit up a little straighter. Did something happen? "I guess I'll pass the news. Mai's mother and little brother died in a car-accident on their way here."

Mello snorted in confusion and I tensed lightly, before covering it up and rubbing my fingers over the desk. "I can give you her location…"

"Please."

Mello decided on going with me because he wanted to see Matt again, and L told us we were allowed to go – the case was, according to him, as good as closed, for he was sure Light Yagami was Kira. The only thing he would need was actual evidence, and we agreed upon helping him from out Wammy's. "I am taking earlier leave." I mutter in explanation for Mello and me, and L nodded, already informed.

The day later, we were on the airport in France, and I was only a little nervous with Mello around. He wasn't exactly my type of friend, but I was here with him, so we'd have to move together.

"Marseille… they sure did pick on hell of a location." Mello said contently when he felt the burning on his bare skin once we got outside. I scowl lightly – I didn't like heat. I let Mello do the leading – he seems to know where to go with instinct which I could trust. He may do rash things, but he never did extremely wrong things. We eventually landed up in the part of the city Roger told us they were, so now we only needed to search. Great. I heard Mello suggest we would go and wait at their hotel, and I reluctantly agreed. It would be better than trying to search the entire city for them.

I waited for a while for Mello to read the map and was glad when I noticed it was past six pm already – the heat was going down thankfully.

"Naaah let me gooo!" I heard a male someone slur and Mello scoffed at the obvious shouting of – approximately – two people who might have a little too much to drink. "That tickles!" I tune out their bickering voice and watch at the streets for a second. Most people would be a little more than afraid at being here with no clue where to go – but that was really just unnecessary. If we got lost, we had enough money and we could always call Roger. Besides, I trust Mello would know what to do – he was more of an adventure type than me.

"Dammit Matt you can be so annoying. I told you not to drink that much!" Someone female scoffed at her companion and Mello perks up earlier than I do. "Get your hands of that place mister." The scowling got replaced for a giggle which I _definitely _recognized and the word 'timing' flashed right through my mind before I turned around and saw Matt and Mai coming from another street.

Matt had one arm around Mai's waist and was pulling her hair and Mai allowed it with a sour face, replacing his hands sometimes when she thought they went to far. "I don't know how people keep up with you…" She murmurs and squeaked when he pinched her side. "MaiMaiMaaai~" He sung out, before hiccupping. "Youknowyou'rereallypretty? Maybebetter… than movies. Youcouldnever compete withgames." He said quickly and Mai sighed before shaking her head, mildly amused.

I however – was not amused. Who did Matt think he was? I was about to walk over to them when Mello decided to take action for me. "Fuck you Matt!" Mello scoffed and Matt looked up wildly, proceeding into tumbling to the floor, nearly dragging Mai with him. Mai raised an eyebrow at him before blinking and looking up again to the intruders. Her eyes widened considerably when she saw me and she opened her mouth to say something, before closing.

"BONJOUR MELLO YELLOW FELLOW~" Mello interrupted him with a whack on his head, stopping Matt from his dance-like-run at his best friend. Immediately – like always – Mello began bickering against him and Matt made random comments which would either earn him a chuckle, a scoff or a punch.

Meanwhile, Mai held out her hands in front of her quickly. "I didn't drink! Seriously! Didn't touch anything beside water… and maybe soda." She said worriedly and I frown lightly at her, wondering why she would think I believed she had been drinking. Even if she did – it wasn't really my business. I was waiting for the normal welcome – heck, even when I came to her after an exam she would squirm into my arms and give me a big kiss. Now, however, she didn't even move from her spot.

We stood in silence for a while and she lowered her hands, awkwardly scratching her arm a little. "Why are you here?" She then quietly asked and I lowered my hand from the lock of hair I had been twirling, resting it at my side.

"We are here to get you and Matt back at Wammy's." I answer monotonously and she furrowed her eyebrows. "Why?" She asked again and I wonder if she was really expecting more information. I decided upon answering her.

"The rule is that you are not allowed to leave Wammy's without a supervisor." I explain and she scoffed at me – she _scoffed _at me without the playful glint.

"Roger let us go, I called him myself." She stubbornly shot back and I don't reply, staring at her. Mello yelled for us to continue walking and Mai quickly complied, hobbling after them.

As said, we were in the plane back to England three hours later. Mello had them pack their stuff quickly – maybe a little torturing with it – and right now Mai was sitting next to me silently, while Matt and Mello were making enough noise for ten.

I understood she was upset about her loss, but I expected her to talk about it. She was that kind of girl, and right now I feel like I don't know her at all. She didn't look different – only the significant change in expressions. Didn't someone comfort her when she heard the news? And why were her mother and sibling on their way here anyway? Random family visits were very rare – not always allowed and not always wanted. It crossed my mind she didn't dealt with it yet and just went here with Matt to have something else on her mind.

"It's okay to cry." I murmur to her while eyeing her. She had been silent for the entire ride to the air port too. Matt and Mello had given up on noise and decided to do a card-game in the seats across from us. The luxury of a private plane – no annoying people who make a lot of noise.

"No. No, it's not." Mai replied coolly, glaring at the seats opposite from us, who were unoccupied. Between them and our seats there was a small table, but with enough leg-room. She kept silent again and Mello rolled his eyes but I could see he was considerate, before he turned to play with Matt again.

Odd. I felt a little uncomfortable with her silence. I guess I got used to her chattering. I miss her noise. Out of the corner of my eyes I see her stare in front of her, and I briefly wonder what she was really thinking.

"You suck dude." I heard Matt say next to me when he, apparently, lost another game of whatever card-game they were playing. It looked like poker, but I never deepened in those things. Mello made a remark back which Matt snorted at, and they continued bickering about the game.

It was silent for a while and I realized I really despised the music they would play in private planes – it was way to 'cheesy' as people call it.

I feel the arm rest move and watch Mai's hand grab it tightly, trying to squeeze it hardly and I move my gaze over to her face. Her eyes were closed tightly, bangs in front of it a little while she pressed her lips together tightly, rocking back and forth.

With a swift movement my arm shot out and I released her from the belt around the chair, before tugging her arm and she complied, moving out of her seat and pushing both my knees down, putting her arms around my neck and her face in it, her legs pulled up to her chest. I stroke her hair softly as she lets out strangled sobs in a row, clutching my shirt tightly.

I completely ignore Matt and Mello who were giving us awkward glances, but obviously knowing what was wrong with her, and because of that they decided to stand up and move to the compartment behind this one, continuing their games there and I glanced after them thankfully. Maybe the most awkward thing for them to see was me displaying my affection for her. Oh well.

"It's my fault..." She murmured through her sobs. "She came to get me far enough to go home with her…" Really? Why would she do that? Mai had clearly told them she rather stayed at the orphanage, at least that's what she said before the accident. "She called on a divorce… and wanted me back…Mom and Damian…" She buried her face deeper in my shirt and I gently wrap my arms around her a little, resting my head on top of hers.

I let her cry out her heart before letting her go a bit more, my hold on her not tight anymore and she released her hands from my chest, sniffing now and then and staring at my wrinkled and wet shirt. "I'm sorry." She semi-whispered and I was about to tell her it didn't mind she wet the shirt, only to find her talking about something else. "I should not have reacted it on you… That was low." I don't respond and gently rub circles with my thumb on her back. "I love you," She said quietly and I smile lightly, murmuring my answer back to her and it made her close her eyes and relax a little on my body.

It was silent for a while and some body parts became to ache – but I ignored it. I know Mai would rather stay in this position for the entire ride, and I wouldn't mind.

"It's Fleurette. Fleurette Mireille."

I remained silent, my eyes only widening a little bit. Why did she tell me that? Her real name? L forbids Mello, Matt and me to ever tell our names to anyone – it didn't matter who, even if it was someone who claimed to be our long lost families. He made it very clearly he wouldn't have any of that, for people could betray you very easily.

But Mai wasn't that kind of person was she? She might get distant when angry, but she wouldn't tell things that were supposed to be a secret. "It's… a beautiful name." I reply and I wonder if her face scrunched up in the reply – she must understand by now I am not intending to tell my name.

Her body was as relaxed as ever and when I looked at her briefly her eyes were still closed, dried up tears on her cheeks and some fresh tears still at her lashes. She didn't mind me not telling her. So it really was just the cause she wanted to tell me, for me to know in case.

Content with that thought I rest my head on hers again and close my eyes when she gives my neck a soft kiss. Her hair tickles lightly and she shuffled a little before I felt her body relax more and heard her breathing get more even with the seconds, and I allowed my hands to stroke through her hair and rub at the small of her back, thankful she was going to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**OH NOES! SCHOOL starts Friday. Me hate. Because, you know, the entire vacation you're bored and only write stuff, but when it's almost time for school you just have BUNCHES of things to do! I need to watch movies, write stories, play games, swim, train, shop, sleep and read manga! :3**

_Chapter 11_

This chapter went online earlier then expected!! XD

**Date: 24th August**

It's the day.

The only day I dread, because most people knew this day too.

And they wouldn't leave me alone with it. Not to think of Mello… he could be a tad more annoying and irritated than usual.

Normally, I didn't really mind it, but I felt just a little cranky today, without specific reason, but I could blame it all on puberty – since, with my sixteen years, I'm still a teenager.

I decided not to leave my room and just wait for people to try and burst in before I would act on this day at all. It was quiet until at least twelve in the afternoon, when someone started banging the door.

I took the liberty of pushing a chair under the door knob and after a minute the banging stopped.

Then I froze. Did Mai lock her door, or was her bathroom door locked? Probably not, for she had not even been informed today was the day I would turn sixteen. People considered it a great age – but I couldn't tell the difference.

"Pervert!" Was screamed and I deduced that person – Mello, perhaps – walked in on her changing, since it was a free day and since shortly, Mai had the tendency to stay awake until late and sleep out even later.

This thought brought a tiny tinge of amusement, as well as a drench of protective behaviour, but it was discarded when I heard a crash and a door slam. I hope Mai had kept the alarm clock neat – Roger had been assigned to replace it for at least a dozen of times now.

Five seconds later my bathroom door opened and I look around to see Mai, clad in a too big T-shirt she stubbornly referred to as 'short dress. Not that I minded.

She smiled her sleepy smile – yes, she had been sleeping – and she moved to sit down on the bed. "So this blonde chocoholic bursts into my room," She starts, refusing to speak Mello's name and I smirked lightly. "Told me today was your special-cherry-on-the-top-day." Oh, was she angry at me for not telling her? I hoped not. Either that or she had that time of the month, since she never talked Matt-talk.

"Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday, Near?" She asks me quietly, and even though she acted calm I could see she was a little surprised.

She asked me for it once, and I discarded it as 'somewhere in the summer'. She would have probably expected me to notify her on at least a week notice.

She shifted around and I noticed the hands behind her back – at my raised eyebrows she blushed prettily. Ah yes, puberty… it had kicked in long before, but recently it showed more… reactions to Mai than I wanted too. It was as if my body was in war with my mind, and I furiously tried to keep my body from winning.

But even my mind couldn't help but notice how pretty she turned from the first time he saw her, and how she developed just a little more.

Here I went again. I shut of those thoughts robotically and scolded myself, before eyeing Mai again.

"Don't dare think I don't have a gift." She murmured before petting the bed, and I silently comply, sitting down next to her. Normally I don't like gifts – I still don't – but I was genuinely curious to hers. She gave me a wrapped box-like present and bit her lip when I carefully opened it and removed the top, revealing what was inside.

"I know it's really cheesy…" She begins when I look at the brand new puzzle. It wasn't white, as I preferred, but a picture of me and Mai (did she took this at the lake?) was branded across it.

I ran my fingers over it, and Mai giggled nervously as I put it down. "And it's not very special. I thought… You know, maybe you liked it?" I smile briefly at her, but enough to comfort her and she sighs when I lean in to her, pressing my lips against hers.

As usual, she locked her arms behind my neck and deepened the kiss, and once again most rational thoughts were slammed down by the raw forces of nature – yes, it's that horrible.

She pushes lightly and I comply, so we lightly fell back on the bed. Ah, this wasn't helping those 'forces' at all. As unmoral it might seem for me – I did have… how did Mello and Matt call it… Dirty thoughts? I rather say strange suggestions.

We parted for air and she nipped my lower lip playfully, continuing, and my hands rested close to her knees, before taking the liberty to wring up her… short dress and gently touch her lower back. The contact caused her to make a muffled sound I discovered I _loved_, and she wringed her own hands underneath my shirt. I closed my arms around her and pushed her against me even more, hearing that lovely sound again when I accidentally grinded my hips against hers.

Come to think of it, those 'forces' weren't that bad. They were just annoying – I couldn't concentrate normally and I hate it when I don't have a clear thought on something.

Suddenly she stirred and sat right up, looking alarmed. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep in a groan when she shuffled around on my lap – after all, she mostly still thought I was the same boy from a few months ago.

Then she grabbed the collar of my shirt and yanked me up quickly and right at that moment my bathroom door opened. I stare at Roger disinterestedly, succeeding in hiding any blush that might have occurred. Roger gave a lecture about locking the door and not coming down when people requested me to, but I found it very difficult when Mai's hands snakes over the bed to meet mine like a feather's touch.

**X-X**

"Near~" Mai chirped before she waltzed in my room, sitting down next to me. "Wanna do something? I'm bored."

Yes, it was the second of September and the classes will start soon, but unlike normal children who do a lot of things the last days, Mai does absolutely nothing the last days. And it would bore her, a lot. I had been hoping Matt and Ellen kept her busy long enough, because frankly, Mello and I didn't have much time. L still wanted us to read reports and all that, though I don't see the use of it. Maybe just to prepare us if we suddenly need to take over the case.

"What do you want to do?" I ask quietly, ignoring my half-done puzzle. She smiled when she saw she got my attention.

"I don't know; something? We could watch a movie…"

And that way I ended up in Mai's room – for I had no television, why should I have one? And was forced to watch a horror movie she claimed was absolutely wonderful. I don't like movies, nor do I watch them a lot. They bore me because I would have figured out the plot already, and I would give the movie quits, leaving it unfinished.

Right now though, I couldn't say I minded how Mai was curled up against me with wide eyes, staring at the screen frightened. I smirk lightly – she used to tell me she was never afraid of horror movies, but this scene proved otherwise. Or maybe it was just this specific movie, called The Grudge.

Right when the girl named Susan lifted the covers and saw a girl coming up to her, the door slammed open, and Mai yelped loud enough for me to close my eyes. Mello raised one eyebrow before he saw the television.

"Dipshit, you really afraid for that?" He directed to Mai, who had taken the defiant stance immediately. "Not everyone has a dysfunction in his brain for all that sugar, Mello."

"I'LL KILL YOU-"

"Mello! Don't be so rude!"

Ah great, Linda. Mai scrunched her nose at Mello, childishly agreeing with the brown haired girl. Mello scowled. "Linda, go screw a dog or something."

This caused an outrage from Linda and Mai, seeing both adored dogs. Heck, Mai even ordered me that if we ever got out of the orphanage and somehow turned to live together, I should buy her two dogs. Personally I didn't like animals very much, for you had to give them a lot of attention and love. I wasn't able to do that well, so it might be better to save the poor pet for a good owner instead of me. But if Mai would want two, I'd give them to her. She has attention in over-drive, so it might be good.

"That's it! I'm gonna tell Roger!" Linda shrieked, running out of the room. Somehow I also wonder how everyone always ends up in Mai's room.

Mello snarled. "No you're not! YOU JUST WAIT-" The door was slammed and Mello talked more muffled, not enough for me to hear.

Mai sighed. "Now the atmosphere of the movie is ruined!" She whined, crossing her arms as I stood up and turned the poor movie off. "There's really nothing to do in this stupid orphanage." She complained softly to herself and I twirl my hair, wondering if I should go back to my own room now or not.

She turned around and eyed me, smiling cheekily at me. "Oh well. I think I'm going to go outside… wanna come too?" It was a hopeless question, for she knew I was going to say no anyway. So when I shook my head she only grinned a little, before grabbing sneakers out of her closet. This, I took for a sign to leave for my own room. I didn't really needed to see how she bended over with that low-cut T-shirt just yet.

**X-X**

I haven't seen Mai all day yet, really. She had told me today was Ellen's birthday, so I think most girls nearly consumed one another for gossip, parties and god knows what girls do. I had been tempted to go and see her, but I let it rest. Who knows what they might do when a boy crushes in their slumber party. A slumber party from almost an entire day. Though I heard Matt got in. But Matt… maybe his relationship with the girls is just a little too good. That, and he always plans every party here in this orphanage. Well, the party from the children. The adults wouldn't allow him to plan a holiday.

After classes ended Mai hurried of in an enormous herd of females and as far as I know, the only sign they are still alive is the giggling and squealing coming from Ellen's room when someone happens to pass by.

I wonder if Mai was still as sad about her mom and brother as a month ago. I knew she still thought about it a lot and all, but I think she might be clearing up a little more. Which is why I choose to ignore her this day – so she can hang out with her friends more than usual. Even if it will cost me some hours of freedom, for she will probably have much to tell this evening. And in a few days she'll turn fifteen herself, which will probably be a big party too. And a party in her room, with secret opening to my room. God help me.

After I done the little homework I had left – most of it I made during class, while making notes too – it was already evening and time for dinner. Roger made it clear each of us were to attend the meals, even if you weren't hungry. If you were sick, you got to stay in your room, but that was one of the few exceptions.

The problem was that if you're not hungry and you need to go, you get a plate of food in front of you and out of boredom you'll start eating it anyway, which will result in a sort of sick feeling later. At least that's always what happened with me – but thankfully it was only soup this evening.

Even the girls were to attend the dinner, and they were all huddled in a corner, talking animatedly, but Mai glanced at me a little more than usual, and then she would giggle along with a girl I didn't really know the name off. It was easy to make the conclusion she'd been talking about me. And even if those clues weren't obvious, it would be deduced from that it was a girl's party. I knew enough of them to know they gossip, a lot. Tell secrets and all.

Not that this bothered me – why should it? It's not like it means trouble or something. Mello, however, found it deeply irritating. A majority of the girls had been glancing at him – most of them had a deep obsession with the leather-clad boy – and it annoyed the hell out of him Matt wouldn't tell him what the ruckus was about. Because, Matt knew everything that was going on there.

I decided on watching Mello act around while he tried to gain more information from Matt, who kept his mouth shut defiantly, with a daring grin on his face.

"Matt, tell me!" Mello said, narrowing his eyes dangerously. Matt shrugged playfully. "Maybe about the tightness of your pants?"

"FUCK-"

"Mello, leave Matty alone!"

Mello scowled at the girl group and animatedly started to eat his soup, glaring at it hardly. I had to say, this Mello bashing by the girls last couple of weeks was starting to get at least a little amusing.

He left as soon as the girls left, probably to spy on them. Matt only shook his head and got up at the same time as me, walking after them. Actually, I felt the urge to walk after them too, as well as probably every other uninvited kid here, but those instincts were quick forgotten and since I didn't have anything to do I'd go to the library.

I've read almost every book there, just like Mello, but sometimes I re-read some of them just because I had nothing to do. Sometimes I overlooked things, and it was interesting to see how the plot could change because of that.

The libraries were also pretty big. There were dozens of books, a few computers in a row, and also some tables and chairs for people to make homework. There was even a big screen for documentaries.

Around half past eleven the librarian told me to go to my room and I obliged quietly, as well as some other kids who were still hanging around here. If I was correct, Mai should be in her room now because Roger would never allow such a party to go on all night on a school-week.

"Mello, go away already." I heard from around a corner and I sighed, wondering what he was up to now. And, the voice also sounded like Mai's, so I had all reason to go and watch what was happening. Mello talked awfully soft, and it was quite impossible for me to hear. I heard some words like my name, one of my 'nick-names', her name, some random words like 'the' and 'one'.

I lean against the wall quietly and watch from a fair distance as Mello leans in and forcefully pressed his lips against Mai's.

This… should enrage me, should it not? Then why did I felt pity? Maybe a part in my mind knew that Mello only did this because he wanted to be even with me, to defeat me in more then just intellect, or he was just really desperate. And Mello would know that what he did was useless, he'd regret it later because he knew he mocked himself, but it didn't stop me from thinking Mello might not be the dear friend I thought him to be.

The look on Mai's face was already enough to hate Mello a little more, and when the blonde walked away quickly I didn't made it a fact I hid myself.

"I have her Mello." I murmur quietly, and I met his icy blue stare for a second. He ignores me, continues to walk, but I know it'll take him long before he'll forget about it, because I just won again. And maybe that sounds childish, but it's the truth.

To save Mai any embarrassment, I turn around and shuffle to my own room, deciding to just forget the entire topic. It'll only make her either angry or sad, and that wasn't my goal, really.


	12. Chapter 12

PS: I only used Mai's POV in here because I needed to get the last part out of my head. Don't expect her POV more often. It's just in situations that don't fit with Near's POV.  
PSS: _SCHOOL IS TAKING OVER MY LIFE O.O_

**Chapter 12**

**1 year**** later  
****Date: ****16th January**

"But Mai, shouldn't you just stay here for a few more days and reconsider this?" Roger asked gently and I huff at him, tapping my foot impatiently. My bags were already at the door, waiting to be picked up and thrown into a car.

"Roger, I'm sixteen; I'm going to age now." I said sarcastic and he corrected his glasses. I already said goodbye to the children so that wouldn't be a problem anymore. "I'll call you, don't worry. I'll be okay!" I quickly continued when I saw his frustrated look. I knew from experience he had a little trouble just letting the now adolescents go.

"…Okay, you do that. Please be careful." Roger said and I gave him a bright smile before putting one arm around his waist, since the other one was occupied by another bag. "I will Roger, thank you." He smiled and patted my head before I let go and waltzed over to the door. The taxi was already here and the driver just walked away with my bags to put them in the car.

"Oh, and Roger…" I bit my lip. "Never mind. I'll come and visit soon."

**2 years later**

"_He'll return once he solved his current case."_

That's exactly what I ordered Roger to tell them… well, _her_, mostly. She would've probably ran a hand through her hair, breathing in sharply, and leaving the office soon, to go to her own room and rummage about, not understanding why I didn't told her anything.

But that wasn't a matter to be spoken of right now. I should be glad I solved the Kira case… Even if it took Mello and Matt.

I had told Roger I'd return to Wammy's once I solved the case, but right now I didn't feel that would be a good option. I didn't figure it out though. Besides, relationships as the new L would be dangerous. L himself was forbidden to even make friends during his entire life. And Mai wouldn't take that too lightly – so maybe it is better if I just don't show up for a few more years.

It hurt my heart, but eventually she'll give up waiting find a guy, get married, kids… Or maybe I should just go and get her. I furrow my eyebrows lightly and look at the stacked cards distastefully.

I had been tempted to ask Roger if I could talk to her, but always quickly ended the call when I felt it coming up. And now, I was almost at the point of burying her existence in my mind.

Until this moment. We were only back in America for two weeks and Gevanni already drove me insane. He 'finally' got me out of the building and dragged me to somewhere. Halle usually tagged along too, like now. We were at some sort of bistro now, and I was gruffly staring at my food, poking it around a little. I wasn't hungry… The door opened and closed like usual and the waiter asked if the person made a reservation.

"Oh, ehm, well, actually I'm here to see someone…" I heard a female voice reply and only at that, since my thoughts had been occupied by one, made me look up. And stare right at the back of someone with shoulder-length brownish hair. I frowned and tried to see her better. Mai would never be in America, right?

Then the girl turned around and I sighed. Not relieved, more sad, disappointed. The girl didn't even look like her. And that moment was the reason why my mind couldn't be left alone anymore. Every corner I searched, _Mai, Mai, Mai_, even when we walked over to where the car was parked.

"I'm terribly sorry." I heard in a hasty voice, followed by Gevanni chuckling with that slight twinge I recognized as 'charming' though it failed, and told her it wasn't a big deal. Once Gevanni caught up again he immediately did unnecessary report.

"Dude! The girls get prettier and prettier by the years, I tell you. That one, with the reddish hair till her shoulders and blue eyes… I mean dang! I wish I got her phone number." Really, everywhere.

That night I gruffly stared at the ceiling. The Kira case had been slurping up enough time for me to fall asleep on the nights I allowed it too. But with just simple cases I solved within a week I had enough energy left to not invite sleep. These nights always occurred on Wammy's, but there was Mai's warm body curled against mine.

The week after I saw Mello and her, she had been extremely stiff. She had given half-hearted attempts at conversations or minor answer. She must've been confused with my own lack of confusion. I should be because she was acting unusual. Since I knew what was wrong I didn't act like it. The rest of the month I felt like she was parting herself from me a little, but I never went to see her and asked her what was wrong. I never told her I would be leaving for Japan, left Roger to pass the information through. Because frankly, it would do no good if I told her. She would either be sad or angry and make a fuss about it. One happy thought was that Mello left before me, and he would not be there with her.

I abruptly sit up, getting out of my bed and walking over to the door. Since I didn't bother buying a house I decided renting hotel rooms. Living in the huge headquarters was quite difficult, after all.

Slowly I make my way over to the laptop and sit down in front of it, ticking in words quickly. The screen switched to a white screen and I waited patiently. It should be noon in England now.

"Wammy's house, Roger speaking." Roger croaked out and I cocked my head to one side once Roger's picture appeared. All Roger could see was an N.

"Ah, Near, how are you keeping up?" Roger said once he saw the letter. I looked at his picture for a while before twirling my hair.

"I'm quite well." I answered, knowing the normal routine. Roger smiled and nodded appreciatively. "How is Mai?" I continued. I always called Roger once a month to inform him about the case, and I would always ask for her. Roger should know it would also be a routine after these three years. "Mai?" He blinked a few times and I wondered if Roger was actually going dement after all these years.

"…She's okay." Roger said and I resist frowning at him, even though he wouldn't see it if I did. Okay? "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong. She's perfectly fine, even! Last week-" I interrupted him sharply. "Where is she, Roger?" Mai wasn't hard to predict after all. Roger acted nervously because he knew I could see him.

"…Right here in the orphanage, Near. I would go and get her for you but you know she doesn't want to talk to you."

I kept silent for a while, doubting whether to glare or not. He wouldn't see it anyways. I take a small breath and twirl my hair. "Roger. Where is she?" I knew Roger lied, he was too nervous. Either she hurt herself or she was somewhere else. Maybe Mai told Roger too keep me in the dark with her leave, but I wouldn't know why.

Roger sighed. "She left the orphanage two years ago…" He eventually said. I straightened up. Why would she leave? She always said she might stay a little longer to take care of the kids there. What would her haste be to leave at the age of sixteen?

"Can you tell me her location, then?" I ask quietly and Roger shakes his head sadly. "She never called or visited too. But shortly after her leave, Ellen left too. I can give you her address, maybe she knows where Mai is."

I nod, receiving a mail with Ellen's address. I wasn't surprised she still lived in England, seeing she loved London.

I impatiently waited until the next morning and called Gevanni to inform him of my leave to England. The case I currently had was already done and I didn't take a new one so I would have at least three days off going to England. Though why I would go I still had to figure out. I could go to Ellen, ask Mai's address… and then what? Go and hop in with her? She'd be immensely angry at me; I could easily figure that out.

But still, I longed to see her again. Wasn't that enough? Maybe it was egocentric. I could imagine that she told Roger to not tell me she left. She probably wanted me to leave her alone seeing all those times she declined my requests for talking. Then again, in a rash moment I already bought the ticket. It would be stupid to return it and not go anyways. I could at least just check on her without her knowing…

**X-XMai's POVX-X**

I hate work. I should go back to the orphanage and let myself have a perfectly nice, wealthy life over there. With a glare I roughly slam the cap on my head and leave my manager with a huff, taking place at the chair nearby. I did not only hate work, I hated this job even more. Loathed it.

There was a _ding_ and I took a deep breath to resist cursing at the visitor. "Hi, welcome and how can I help you today?" I told the car in an extremely fake cheerfully voice.

I was greeted by uncontrolled giggling and snorting. I sighed; not _again_.

I slam the microphone off again and sit back annoyed, crossing my arms. I spontaneously _hated _Ellen and her new boyfriend, Mick. No way was I going to take orders from them. All they did was come here, laugh at me and order a milkshake. It wasn't my fault I had to work to get some extra money! My job at the gift store in the city didn't pay too well and since I saw these expensive shoes I need to have I decided to take a little work with it.

"Aw Mai, we're thirsty!" I heard Ellen's voice croak. I sigh and push the button. "There's a supermarket a few miles from here, go there."

"That's mean!"

"Fine. Two vanilla milkshakes, coming up."

Ellen squealed and drove further, while I ticked it in on the computer. The manager, Margaret, burst through in the little room with no space left, ordering me to go and help clean the kitchen. I bit my lip to not comment on her wonderful clothing while I stand up, waltzing over. "Mai, Janny is sick, can you take over orders?"

I groan and turned on my heels, getting the two waiting milkshakes at the table, going to the other cabin. Ellen was already there. "Here you go." I murmur and she smiles brightly. As usual I put it on my own account because, after all the uncontrolled laughing, Ellen was still my best friend.

"Say, you wanna go shop tomorrow? You're free of your work in the city then, aren't you? There are these fabulous jeans I want to buy." We quickly agree she'd pick me up tomorrow and I walk back out.

"Mai! I told you to clean!"

Something snapped right there. Maybe all those years without angry Mello and cool Near made me in a mix of them, or a more aggressive Matt. Mello sure did well to me, I thought with a sour face. I grabbed the cap of my head and was sure some hairs went with it, and pushed it right in her hands.

"GO CLEAN IT YOURSELF! I QUIT!" I shriek, tearing off the jacket with the symbol and walking out of the building, fuming.

Ellen honked at me and I got in quickly. "I'm DONE with it! I'm going back to Winchester! Serious, what was I thinking! Trying to live on myself! I'm too immature! Ellen, bring me baa-haaack!" I whined and she grinned, climbing out of her passenger's seat and sitting next to be in the back. Mick only shook his head amused and kept driving.

"Ow poor baby," Ellen cooed sweetly and I pout. "It's not fair Ellen! You got this good paying job and I need to work at a _food hole _to buy some shoes!" I kept on complaining and complaining until, eventually and like usual, I burst out into tears.

"Not fair." I murmur now and then in Ellen's chest. She was used to my outbursts when something didn't go the way I planned. And she also knew who I blamed it on; that _guy_ made me emotionally nuts with disappearing.


	13. Chapter 13

_Chapter 13_

**Date: 3****rd**** May**

"Near?" Ellen said, confused when she saw me at her doorstep. I shifted on my other feet awkwardly. I never socialized with anyone except Mai… Ellen frowned for a second, before opening her mouth and closing it again. Then she scrunched her nose and gave me a suspicious look.

"…What do you want from her?"

I twirl my hair – even Ellen could see right through my actions. "Her address." I answer quietly and she shakes her head, before letting me in.

"Tea?" I nod and sit down on the small couch. The kitchen was attached to the living room and she sighed while setting up the water. "I won't tell you where she lives, Near." She starts, and I raise my eyebrows a little, wondering if Mai indeed kept contact with Ellen.

"I can tell you where she goes every Sunday at two PM, though."

I look at her emotionlessly, waiting for an answer. "Not very persuasive are you?" Ellen remarked before smirking. "She's always at the graveyard near Winchester that time. You know the one where you flew Mello's and Matt's body over?"

She knew about their deaths? And no names were on the stones, how could she have noticed? "It wasn't hard to figure out who they were… besides, we saw Roger there, too." Ellen said, her mood swinging over. "How…?" She asked carefully and I lacked response. She'd never been close with either of the men, but I would imagine being curious and sad over it. They did play a large role, after all.

Even in my life.

"I'm sorry." She quickly said, holding a hand to her belly. "I just wanna know… if it was… peaceful or something."

"Very." I lie and she nods gratefully. It would be better if I left out how they died. It would only cause more harm to those still here. Ellen leaned back on the chair and took a sip of her tea. "I would be careful approaching her." She murmured thoughtfully and I took a sip of my tea too. "She's very angry at you. Even after three years." She let out a nearly sadistic chuckle, but masked it with innocent eyes. "But-uhm, she's probably not very talkative on Sunday. Sad because of Mello and Matt, and all. You know, I would be too. She kept in touch with them, so it must be a shock when suddenly their corpses are buried here."

She kept in touch with them?

I feel the old flame of jealousy burn up shamelessly, boiling my blood just a little. How did Mello kept in touch with her? And why did he want to keep in touch with her? Why did she want to keep in touch with him? Mello knew of my locations, did she not ever ask for those? Or was she truly that angry at me that she took complete distance from me? Now the jealousy burned into slight desperation. I needed to see her again. I wanted her to come with me. I couldn't bare the thought she would decline.

"I'll be going now," I said after another quarter. Ellen smiled and got up to walk me to the front door.

"Good luck boy." Ellen said playfully, leaning on the doorpost. I nod and look at her belly for a second. "Congratulations." I said and she blushed before hugging her belly. "Goodbye."

**X-X**

I breathe in the still-moist air. My feet make little sound on the wet ground, but I doubt she didn't hear my already. Mai was sitting on the ground on her knees, staring blankly at two graves in front of her. I watched as she bowed forward lightly, hugging herself a little and her hair covered some of her face. As if she tried to refrain from me seeing her facial expressions. I imagine how she must feel right now, now she knows I'm here. Abandoned, left out, all those things. Maybe a little betrayed, offended, angry. All of those, I guess.

But then again, I did never inform her. Even if she stayed at Wammy's all those years I would've never informed her. That's just the way it is, we don't inform people of deaths.

I continue walking over to her, watching as she gently touched the end of Mello's grave. Once I was close enough to touch her with an arm's length, she leaned back a little.

"I was never told they died." She said softly. I nodded. I was, after all, planning to keep it a secret from the children of Wammy's. The only reason they knew L died was because of mine and Mello's sudden disappearance. They'll never know of Mello's and Matt's death, though.

"How did they die?" I hear her ask. I twirl my hair slowly. "By Kira." I answer simply. Mai wouldn't be waiting for a detailed death, so I would rather just transfer the killer. She nodded, still looking at the blank grave. Like L, there would be no description. There will be no description with my grave either. Not with Watari, Roger, no children of importance in Wammy's.

"Mai," I quietly said and she shook her head. "Go away," She murmured. "I'm paying my respects."

"I know. But we need to go."

"We? What do you mean, _we_? You go back to your safe little whatever, and let me stay here. That's the deal." She hissed back, keeping her gaze steadily fixed on the graves. I shake my head. "You're going to America with me, Mai."

"I'm not going anywhere with you!" She said angrily, turning to look at me. "Why would you want me to go with you anyways?"

I look her right back in the eyes, a habit I'll never lose. "Because I miss you." I reply simply, hoping it would take her mind of the current situation. Unfortunately, luck wasn't on my side.

"You left me!" Mai with a tiny shriek while standing up. "I didn't even hear from you! You could've been dead too and I wouldn't have known! Why didn't you call or something? That's so like you Near, ignoring me like a bag of trash as soon as you left, and then demanding an explanation as to why I left… I was – no, I _am_ – so frustrated with you… If you don't want to know me, then get out of my head already and just tell me you're not ever going to find me again. Do that, so I can just turn around!"

"Roger always told me you didn't want to talk with me."

Mai's fuming immediately stopped and the confused face I could recognize from when she was younger got on. She blinked and looked slightly shocked.

"…You… called me?" She semi-whispered. I nod, continuing talking now I had silenced her. "I often asked Roger if I could talk to you. You never wanted too. That has been that way for the entire three years you were there, Mai."

She blinked again, her lips opening in an 'o' and closing again. "But…Roger never told me anything? Why would I decline talking to you? I loved you…" I ignore the little pang when I realize she uses love_d _and not love. Did she not anymore? That was to be expected. "Did he tell you I left two years ago?"

"I was not informed you left when you were sixteen." I said, only just knowing that. "I was only informed of it this week." I took a step closer to her so I could touch her. Carefully I reached out to touch her shoulder. Her slap echoed softly over the graveyard.

"Don't _touch _me."

I retreated my hand slowly and looked at her doubtfully. Maybe she really hated me. Who was I to force her with me when she really hated me? "Mai." I said solemnly and she glared at me, but I could already see her resistance was melting. "I… Don't do this to me." She whimpered, and I gently approached her again, laying my hand on her hair, letting it fall down until her cheek. "You'll leave again." She muttered, averting her gaze. "I won't do that." I said, wondering if she was accepting. Suddenly she glared at me again, defiantly.

"And what if I told you I kissed Mello, willingly? Tried a relationship with him? Went to bed with him? You know, as in _fucking. _Would you still want me to come with you?" She said, looking at me expressionless, except for a glare. I still for a second. Did Mello… Did she know I saw them, so many years ago? I look at her motionless. If she did… my heart would mend easily. Mello was dead. He was no threat.

"I would."

She let out a breath and averted her eyes again, moving her head so that my hand slipped of the cold skin of her cheek. "I'll come." She muttered. "I don't have anything to do here anyways."

**X-X**

"Do…you live in Los Angeles?" The sudden question woke me from my daze and I look in front of me, where Mai was seated. She had kept silent since we arrived on the air port and glared outside the window for a long time, to where the point I believed she could fall asleep any moment. "I do." I answer swiftly. True, I lived there now, but I had to move sometimes for the cases. Like L, it wasn't really a home… but if I had to call some place my home it would be there.

"Oh… in headquarters?" She continues carefully, still looking outside. I twirl my hair and look at the magazines placed on the seat next to her. "A hotel." I reply quietly and she nods again. This answer peeked her interest and she glanced at me through the corner of her eyes. I resist smirking – she had always been a fan of hotels. A silence fell again and because of her shifting I noticed she found this one more awkward than the other, meaning she was starting to get more social again. "…Any new cases?"

"I refused any cases for the week." I reply, slightly amused at her attempts for conversation. She looked at me but averted her eyes once she noticed I was looking back. I smirk lightly, playful maybe, amused at her reactions.

"Um… and the Kira case ended well and all?" She eventually said, awkwardly. I shrug. "Well enough." Finally I got the reaction I wanted. She looked me and huffed, crossing her arms and legs. "Gee, talkative much. I'm trying to talk here, will you?" She pointed out rudely and I smirk at her. It caused her to lose composure and she pouted a little, a blush forming on her cheeks. She kept silent again for the remainder of the flight, as well as the drive to the hotel. Just when I thought she would keep silent for the rest of the night again, she started smiling widely once she saw the things we drove by. Normal things, a cinema, a zoo, a direction to a theme park, etcetera. Some horrible routine must already form in her mind.

"This is amazing." She breathed out, seeing parts of the city in all its glory. True, it was midnight after all. "I could spend a whole day just looking at all this!" She exclaimed, and I wondered if she'd live a little secluded the past three years. Maybe. "Oh wait until I tell Ellen I've been here. She'd be so jealous! But of course with little Peeper coming soon, she can't travel at all. You heard already? She's pregnant! I think it's a boy, but she firmly declines every request for a gender test. Isn't that completely unhandy? I would immediately want to know so I can pick out the right clothes, name, colour for the walls…"

Yes, I did miss her.

* * *

**READ!  
I need at least SOMEONE's opinion on a lemon XD considering how it would change the plot and all. PLEASE HELP :O**

**And don't worry, I'll probably write better chapters from now on, now the whole awkward thing has passed :D**


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks for the reviews concerning the lemon :D Of course, you won't wait long... just two more chapters I think (teehee)  
Enjoy this one!**

_Chapter 14_

**Date: 10****th**** May**

Mai ran her fingers over the table before she picked up a picture and smiled. "He knew you had this, you know." She said, showing me the photo from Mello in Wammy's. I shrug. Would she ask if she could have it? Seeing… they had some sort of thing going on a while ago. She put it down with a sigh and went over to the next two photographs. One contained her and the other was one of L and the top three of Wammy's. He gave us all just one, telling us no copies were allowed to be made.

She put them both down again and rubbed her arms awkwardly. "So, are we gonna call Roger?"

I look up from a file that was at the door – Rester must have put it there – and look at her. "Why? I already called him two weeks ago."

She put her hands on her hips, smiling lightly. "I'd like to know why he didn't tell me you called." I nod in understanding, though my first thought was that she would just drop that case. She bit her lip again, a habit I recognized too easily, and looked up for a second. I trotted over to the couch and sat down on it, pulling one knee up. Apparently some guy thought he could imitate Kira _and _leave a lot of evidence. It seemed like a game – Kira was difficult and this guy was easy.

"New case?" She said, suddenly looking with me over my shoulder. I tense slightly, not visibly, and nod, holding the file out a bit more to her. "Kira imitator? Than he shouldn't leave holes in the chests." She snorted, slightly disgusted at the pictures. She'd dropped all her stuff in her room long ago, and was now pointlessly wandering around the room. I hoped she didn't expect me to do anything with her now…

"I lied," She suddenly said, almost sorrowfully. I look up from my file and glance at her, only seeing she didn't glance back at me. "About Mello… I mean, we never did something." She let out a breath and gave a sarcastic chuckle. "Only kept in touch through webcam. He told me he'd come and visit me…" I hear the edgy sad tone on her voice and decide to drop the question I've wished to speak, and I look down on the file again, not concentrating on it. It did make me strangely happy…

But then again, at least Mello tried to keep in touch. Tried to comfort her saying he'll come soon and visit her, talked to her through webcam and chat. That was a thousands times worth than what I did – _nothing_.

"What did he talk about?" I decide on asking randomly. The thing was – I wanted to know how much she knew about Kira, about the Death Note and about Light Yagami. She shrugged. "Trivial things. We talked about Wammy's, our days etcetera. You, too." She claimed, perking my interest. "He kept making excuses for you, saying you'd come back to me and talk it out. I always made a fight when he started that up… but I guess he meant it good…"

I nod and try to ignore the guilty feeling that flamed up for any misguided thoughts I had for Mello this week and focus on the files again. Another hour passed until Mai locked herself up in her room with the explanation she was going to unpack a little. It took about another two hours before she waltzed back in, complaining she was hungry. Another hour later she was happily munching a pizza, which she had ordered.

"Come on, take a bite!" She ordered and I twirl my hair amused, reaching for the phone. It was, as I said, easy to figure out who the murderer was. "I do not like pizza." I explain briefly and she gasped, in the way that what I just said was morally wrong.

"How _can _you not like pizza? I bet you never tried it. I want you try it, come on!" She whined, holding out one of the slices. It drooped down slowly and I raised an eyebrow at her, to which she sniggered. "It may look disgusting but it's an angel on your tongue." She said seriously, taking a bite herself. "Besides, every eighteen year old needs their junk food once a week."

"Then I am glad I am nineteen." I shot back and she chuckled at the response, waving a slice before her face. "Sure you won't try it?"

"Very sure."

"Your loss!" She said happily, devouring the slice quickly. I picked up the phone and ticked in some numbers. It took a while before he finally picked up. "Yes, Gevanni," I said, lowering my voice a little when I saw Mai was trying to listen too. Personally I disliked it when people tried to listen to another's conversation. I quickly told him who the culprit was and heard him chuckle, before yelling to Halle he won the bet. See, _that _easy.

"_There are a few more sen__t to your computer."_ Gevanni pointed out and I refrained scrunching my nose. Of course I knew that already. "Very well. I shall look at them. Furthermore, please tell Commander Rester to send any new cases to Noah." I hung up soon after and met Mai's confused glance. "Noah? He's the new first?" I smirk when she pouts sadly – she had left two years ago and therefore did not experience Noah becoming top in the orphanage. Not that both of us had a close relationship with him, no – he was a silent type, social but distant – and neither of us really kept an eye on him. But I wasn't surprised when Roger told me he matched Matt's intellect. He'd be able to fix a few cases that were as easy as this one, and it would do him good. Of course, when a successor would get cases send by L, he'd get free of class too. Noah wouldn't mind.

She sat up straight again and completely abandoned the remaining five slices of pizza. "Any new cases? You're taking time off?"

"I thought you might like that better." I explain, twirling my hair mindlessly. I mentally smirk when her eyes lit up and her cheeks got a pretty rosy colour, before she looked away. "Oh. Well, I wouldn't mind if you had to, you know, work."

I could easily tell _that _was a complete lie – but didn't point it out to her anyway.

"Uhm… then what are you going to do this week?" She asked, fiddling with her finger tops a little while she looks at me quizzically. I pull my leg up and twirl my hair idly. "That's up to you."

"…You hate sight seeing and all."

"I do." I response matter-of-factly. She shrugged. "Well, then I could just go in one of those tourist groups or such."

"That didn't mean I wouldn't go with you, Mai." At the sound of her name she huffs and looks away, probably knowing she'd get that answer. Eventually she sighs and shakes her head again to get some bangs out of her face. "What are we doing for tonight?" She asks quietly and I kept quiet, knowing she knew that it was her own choice. I would have something to do whether I joined her or not.

Even though she had planned big things for this night, I wasn't very surprised when she muffled her goodbye and went to bed. It must have been tiring for her.

But don't get me wrong; I'm definitely _not _a pervert. I mean, a pervert stares at someone with dirty thoughts, and I lack the last one. That would make me someone who is not a pervert. I just look at her while she's sleeping. That's perfectly normal.

…Since when did she start sleeping in only her underwear?

Okay, so maybe there were a few changes since I last saw her in a bikini (that _was _the closest thing to what she was wearing) and maybe I changed a little too but that didn't change the situation at all.

So the thing was that I actually came in here to see if she was awake yet. It _was _twelve in the afternoon… But I came in here to only find her sleeping, entangled in her sheets and hair all over her pillows. Was that a stuffed animal in the corner of the bed?

She sighed and stretched a little; re-adjusting her head on the pillows and I crack a little smile. I didn't really want to wake her up. Seeing her lying there makes me realize how much I missed her these years.

After another quarter, I finally got up from my chair and walked out of the room. Seeing it was this late, she was bound to wake up sometime. And I was sure she wouldn't like it if I was there to catch her morning-glory underwear-outfit. As expected, a half an hour later the door opened and Mai came out looking disgruntled in a sweat pants and a sweater. "Morning." I greet and she nods absentmindedly.

With a sigh she shifted towards the couch and drops herself next to me. "Did you sleep well?" I ask her, genuinely interested. She did always say she didn't sleep well in a new bed. My deductions were proven when she glared at the coffee table in front of her.

"No." She states before she straightens up and looks at me, waving a hand through her hair to try and disband the locks from each other. "Have you been up long?"

I don't answer to that and she made a face I could easily recognize as guilty, before it melted quickly. "I guess you don't have some lunch in here?"

"We can go down and join lunch." I said and she shakes her head. "I look horrible." She motioned to her hair and I shake my head lightly, telling her I didn't mind. "Room service, perhaps?"

Her face lit up – probably because she thought room service was 'fancy' – and she nodded eagerly.

The rest of the week went by easily, in contrary of what I had thought first. There were moments Mai tried to drag me into some activity, but most of the times I got out of them. However, there were three times she succeeded – the restaurant, a zoo and grocery shopping. With the latter I was happy – but I could see I had to go those times because she needed at least _some _guide. That's how she said it – I could've easily called someone for her though…

She was being obviously annoyed at that my 'free week' had ended and whined about it in the morning, while packing her suitcases. For the few new cases I decided to go to headquarters for a while. Of course, she went with me.

"…You got a license?" Mai asks dumbfounded and I look at her. "Of course. Why wouldn't I have one?"

She gulped and looked forward again quickly, shaking her head embarrassedly. "Well, I'd never seen you _drive _before…" She explained half-heartedly and I smirk lightly. It might be insulting she thought I wouldn't be able to drive, but it was a little amusing. True, I didn't like driving that much, but seeing there was no chauffeur that could be here in time, I took the job upon myself. It only took a half an hour anyway.

"I don't particularly enjoy driving." I answer and she frowns before smiling. "Well, couldn't you teach me?"

Teach her? Shouldn't she just participate classes?

"Aside the classes I would take then." She quickly said. I look aside for a second before focusing on the road. "You're going to take classes?"

"Yeah! I mean, I should be having a license by now…" She said. "So why not?"

Good point. At least she's trying for it. "If you want me to teach you, I won't have any problems with it." I reply nonchalantly and she clapped her hands. "Good!" She said excitedly. "Let's start soon, okay?"

I don't reply and she opens the window a little, looking outside. When she saw the road I took, she closed it again and sat back, another long road awaiting her.

"When did you get your license?" She asks softly. "A year ago." I reply easily. Yes, no matter how much I didn't want it, I did take one class and succeeded easily. It wasn't that hard.

A rough twenty minutes later, we walked into the large building. Mai easily discovered the entire building was my property and already gazed at the number of levels when we went into the elevator. "Wow! This building is huge! Where exactly do we sleep?"

"You can choose your own floor above five and underneath seventeen." I said and she gaped at me. "An entire floor… Can't I just stay where you sleep?"

A second later she blushed. "Oh! No, I don't mean that! Crap, I just mean the same floor." Of course it didn't cross her mind I didn't even think over what she thought she said.

Then again, I rarely slept. Surely, she didn't want to stay at the seventeenth floor? She'd have a lot of noise with the investigations going on. "It would be inconvenient." I reply and she pouts disappointedly. "Really? But I'll feel so lonely on an abandoned floor."

"…You can stay on the sixteenth floor with some other people." I murmur. Rester and Gevanni were here every day of the week except weekends. Halle too, except for weekends, Friday and Monday. She could handle being alone in the weekends, right? Seeing no one was here in the weekends.

"Good morning!" Halle piped when I walked in the room and some guys stopped to look at me before walking on. I nod at her and shuffle over to Rester. Mai was still standing at the entrance of the room and looking at the devices a little.

From my position I could see Halle walking over to her and shaking her hand politely. She'd be all right.

A little after midnight, Mai shuffled into the room. "I can't sleep." Mai whined and I turned around in my chair to look at her. "I told you I can't sleep with an empty floor." That wasn't true; four other people were still there.

"There's a room over there," I said absentmindedly, nodding over to the hallway attached to this room. "Second door on your left." True, it was my room, but seeing no other room was cleaned up here, she could sleep there.

She nodded and yawned sleepily, before ruffling her hair a little. "What are you doing up so late?" She asks drowsily and I turn around again. "Finished up something." I reply quietly and I hear her shuffle over to me.

"Nearly done?" She continues and I don't reply. Yes, it was nearly finished, but I wouldn't quit. There was a whole stack of new cases. "Not entirely." I eventually said when she looked over my shoulder. She bit her lip and sat down on the table I was working on, probably to get my attention more. That - and she was sitting on the file I put there to start when I finished this one.

"You know, this guy asked me out." She said with her face turned as if she was telling a secret. I stare at her expressionlessly. "Who?" I ask when she doesn't continue. She shrugs. "This Peter… he works here! Sleeps on the same floor."

Peter? I didn't know a Peter worked for me.

"Anyway, what do you think?" She asks when I blink in confusion. "Should I go out with him or not?"

"Would you rely on my answer?" I bring out and she shrugs. "Maybe. It'd be a slight guidance!"

I don't reply and she frowns at me before changing the subject about something trivial. Hm, she should have given a last name. Would Rester be awake? It's half past twelve…

"I'm going to sleep… See you tomorrow!"  
"Goodnight."

As soon as I hear her disappear in the halls and hear her feet tap further in, I open a connection and call Rester. No reply, but a voicemail.

Oh well, I'll just have to ask him about this Peter tomorrow.

I finished up three more cases before I decided I'd take a break. It was three o'clock now… I wonder if Mai was sleeping. Soundlessly I walked out of the room and into the halls, to the door I suggested. Quietly I entered and shuffled over to the bed. Like I said – I wasn't a pervert. I just liked to… look at her.

"Mmm?" Mai mumbled when I crouched down a little. Apparently, she was still awake. Just my luck.

"It's okay. Go back to sleep." I said and she blinked a few times, sighing. I could clearly see she had been sleeping, due to the fazed look in her eyes. "Near?" She brought out sleepily, stretching her legs and blinking again. I don't reply, but stand up straight again to leave. I really shouldn't disturb her rest with my own insomnia. She tugged at my sleeve as soon as I made to move.

"Come here," She ordered sleepily and I turn around lightly, wondering what was wrong. She had her eyes closed but the evident smile on her face told me she was still in a slightly awoken state.

"It smells like you… but not enough." She muttered, tugging my sleeve a little harder. "Come here." She repeats, impatiently tugging harder. "I want to lie next to you."

Hmm. I don't know if that's such a good idea. After some tugging I give in and carefully sit down on the bed, before she pulls me down and rests her head on my chest. "Why did you never tell me you left?" She murmurs sleepily, holding on to one arm tightly.

I carefully wrap an arm around her waist and look at the ceiling, deciding not to respond. All those explanations I had seemed really foolish right now. I would have never taken her with me due to the danger of the Kira case, but I could indeed have told her that I would be leaving for a case.

"I missed you." She whispered sweetly and I again don't respond. Did it make me a weakling that I only answered once I was sure she was asleep? Sure…I missed her too. A lot. And… I loved her. "I missed you too." But she wouldn't have heard it. I drop the matter and pull her closer to me, burying my face in her hair.

_"Marriage?" I echo and Mai smiles brightly, pulling me on the carpet too. Then she flipped her hair a little and pulled on her hood. "That'll do as a veil." She said, a few hairs sticking out of the hood. I look at her confusingly, wondering if that emotion indeed shone through my eyes. Probably not._

_"Well well, let's practice then!"_

_I hunch my back a little so I got to eye height with her. "Practice what?" I ask her and she smiles brighter, cocking her head to one side. "Marriage, dummy!" She said playfully and I sigh a little. Did she really want to practice that? Sure, it might be fun for her… but she didn't know what I still felt._

_She nodded at me as if to spur me on to something, and boy did I know what she wanted. I straighten up a little and look away. "Maybe we should go back." I murmur. I hear her sigh lightly, but thankfully not a sad one._

_"Aw, come on! We don't need to do anything drastic," She said with a laugh. I look back at her and slump my shoulders a little again, before looking over her head. I can't believe I'm actually playing along._

_"I… um," I decided not to say my name. That would be pretty careless. "Will marry," I continued slowly and suddenly I felt a slight push in my stomach. I look down again and see Mai smiling up at me. "I'll marry you too." She murmured before leaning up to kiss me._

_"Say, Near," She started and I look at her in reply. "Would you do that?" She whispers and I nearly didn't catch it. Marry her? That was an absurd question. But I knew… I would. She shakes her head. "Let's go back." _

"Near? Wake up!"

I furrow my brows. Wake up? Wasn't I already awake? I felt a tug at my sleeve and opened my eyes slowly, looking at it. Mai smiled once she ducked down to face me. "I thought you never slept?"


	15. Chapter 15

_Chapter 15_

**It's getting hard for me to continue this story :O I just don't know when to pull an end to it… XD**

"The hell Near?" She screeched and it painfully reminded me of Mello. "What did you do that for?"

"Do what?" I ask before realizing this was _not _Mello. It was Mai; I shouldn't provoke her in getting angry. It was only Mello I played that game with.

"Don't go oblivious to me! You know what…" The last was more said in a hiss and I turned around to look at her. She glared at me with her lips in a pout. Obviously she was very angry at me. I had my ideas why… I deduced Halle told her about the incident with that brat; why I got carried away and fired him, I don't know. I look at her before casting my eyes elsewhere.

"Would you at least explain?" She said, sounding much calmer. I looked at her again and saw her eyes glued to the ground, her fist balled.

"I don't have an explanation." I calmly said and she glared up at me again.

"None?" I shook my head. "You just… felt like it?" I don't reply. "That little stunt of yours ruined a whole weekend of mine. I actually thought something was wrong with _me_ while there's something mentally wrong with _you_!" That stung. "No reason at all?"

I kept quiet for a while and glance at the new wetness in her eyes. She was going to… cry? Was it that bad? Didn't she understand I just didn't want her to date someone from my headquarters? Or just no 'someone else'?

Was she just that dense or was I not obvious enough? I guess the latter – seeing my lack of responding and interaction.

She sighed tiredly, her shoulders slumping lightly. "Whatever." She murmured before turning around swiftly and trotting over to the door. "I'll be back late." She announced before leaving. Back late, huh? Guess she was going to cry it out with a friend… she always tended to do that with me back in the orphanage. Did it really made her that upset? I mean… I knew she probably wouldn't like it… but she couldn't be that angry… right?

It's stupid to get that upset over something so futile.

Right?

I rub my temple lightly and look at the cup of coffee standing on the table next to me. Hmm… I don't even like coffee.

"Near~" Gevanni strolled in, obviously happy. "Ask me if something good happened to me~" He continued and I narrow my eyes at him. Why would he want to inquire me about it? Really, where was Rester when you needed him? I didn't feel for small talk, I had other things to occupy myself with. First things first, Mai. I must find out why's she that upset. Second, there have been loads of emails I bet speak only unsolved cases.

"Aww, you're not responding. I'll tell you anyway," He continued quickly and I sigh inaudibly. I stand up and he looks at me, ready to blow a tantrum.

"I'm going out." I murmured. "Keep up your work,"

He huffed as I walked out of the room as well, to the direction of my own room. Now, Mai. She had a date with this Peter Michaels, but that one has been cancelled. Obviously my doing. Why did I interfere with that again? I furrow my brow a little. Even after those years I still feel like she's mine. I loved her first after all…

**X-X**

"Near, I got this great idea!" Gevanni suddenly called out. Just the fact he _had _an idea was enough to make me look up. I looked at him monotonously and he took it as an approval to continue.

"Obviously you're having trouble with Mai," He pointed out. Halle snickered but immediately kept quiet when I shot her a cool look. I don't understand how they can be so blunt about it anyway. Didn't they ever hear of privacy? What's going on between me and Mai is our business, seeing I don't really have the hang of it either. Normally, when she'd be angry with me, she'd forget it and act normal the same evening… but it's been two days now.

And it's irritating me too, seeing she's trying to act normal while I can easily see something's bothering her.

"And we also know its doing no good to your work, seeing both of you are to stubborn to apologize." It wasn't? How could I fail to notice that? And how did he know we still didn't apologize? Maybe I should consider re-checking all the security cameras.

"Why don't you give her a present or something?" He said cheerfully and I could recognize the girly fantasizing look on Halle's face.

A present? What was the point in that? As if I could make Mai any more considerate with an object bought for apologizing. "I do not see the point." I state and almost missed Halle's surprised look. However, it was refreshing to have her mood changes in here too. They weren't as… changing as Mai's.

"_That's_ because – never mind." Gevanni cut himself off and glancing at Halle. "I meant that you wouldn't know that." He quickly continues. "Why don't you buy her some flowers or something, or cinnamon? She loves cinnamon."

"I know that." I state, awkwardly knowing how cold it sounded. Gevanni didn't need to tell me what Mai liked or not – I knew that better than him.

He smiled. "I know you do. But there are things you don't know too, seeing she's older now!" How did _he_ know all that? I suspect Halle has been talking with Mai and later on with Gevanni. They just couldn't keep to themselves, could they…?

"You should watch her on surveillance cameras when she's with friends or something! They're bound to talk about hobbies!"

"You're suggesting me to stalk her?" I said coolly and he winces lightly at the idea. "No, not stalking. Just… spying? Yeah, spying."

Hmmm… maybe that wasn't a bad idea. I did have the feeling I never really talked to Mai - Well, she usually did all the talking.

No, absolutely not. I wouldn't go so low as to spy on her. If I wanted her to act normal to me I should just confront her with that. Though, that did seem a difficult task. Confronting her? How should I do that? "Go back to work," I said coolly, and eventually they went back to what they were supposed to do.

A few minutes later, Rester came in the room to inform me the car was ready.

**X-X**

I quietly walk in the hallways, wanting to just return to my room and continue being perfectly alone. I always did hate crowds. Sighing somewhat relieved I turned the knob to the main room and quickly stepped in, not failing to notice the blur of red moving about at the couch.

Mai spotted me and blinked, before retrieving something from the ground and pushing it into a bag on the table. A… bag?

I look at her when she walks around the couch and puts the bag with another one. Then she looked at me with a difficult glance.

"Umm…" she started, awkwardly holding one arm. Seeing she didn't continue I closed the door casually. "What is it?" I ask her monotonously and she cast her look downwards, her lips curving down after I spoke.

"I'm leaving." She muttered and I resisted the urge to ask her to repeat it. Leaving? To where? I didn't hear of any vacations…? Seeing I lacked response, she continued. "I'm going back to Winchester…"

I look at her. Silently. Why… did my throat… felt so tight? And my chest… I recognized it, wasn't it how I felt when I left her in Wammy's? She's not really leaving… she's probably only going for a visit. Yes, that's why she only has two bags with her.

"Rester already helped me with my stuff… my flight is due in six hours. I should be going, though." She continued quietly, picking up one of the bags. She moved to pick up the other when I felt myself get into movement again.

"Oh." I said incoherently. Why was I acting so stupidly? At least I could come up with a more intelligent response! I mentally scolded myself for that, when I noticed she had already walked past me. "Well… goodbye then. I'll call you when I get there." She said, quickly walking further away from me. I turn around and reach out, barely missing her sleeve.

"Wait," I quickly say and she freezes, turning around to look at me. "Why are you leaving, then?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady. She smiles lightly.

"You know, even after three years I always kept this stupid fantasy." She blew a strand of her hair out of her face. "Pretty common though, girl wishes her prince would whisk her away on his white horse. So when you actually came to see me… and when you said you wanted me to come with you… That only added." She said the last sentence with a mild form of accusation in her voice. "But you… barely even look at me." she pouted. "It's only natural. I was just obsessed, I think. But its okay, I don't mind that you don't… like me that way anymore. I just don't want to be here and be reminded of it every single day. That's why I'm going back… I'll keep in touch though." She smiled a little. "You are still a friend!"

Somehow that came out unbelieving. I quietly look at her as she seemed to wait for a response or any of the kind, and sighed. "Mai,"

"No really. It's okay… I'm going now. Be sure to wait at the phone for me tonight! I won't forgive you if you don't pick up!" She said airily, nervously smiling a little wider.

"I won't pick up." I answer, slightly irritated with myself. Even though I was told I surpassed L on the area of emotional feelings, I don't really see where I have those skills. That, or I've been blunt enough to not try and prod for information, if Mai still likes me too. Seeing I'm never… obvious. "You won't go, that's why." I stated and she raised an eyebrow. I barely smiled at practically feeling her temper spike a little. "I don't want that."

"You… don't?"

I smile a little wider, letting her see it clearly, before shuffling over to her. She looked up to me – I really did grow, didn't I? "I love you."

She raised her eyebrows before nodding, slightly dumbfounded. I lean in and brush my lips against hers briefly, before she responded as if she touched something she liked.

"Why'd you get so upset anyway?" I ask her between kissing and she shrugs innocently. "It was enough to push you over the edge. Guess it worked." Ha, a set-up? Seeing the ways her eyes twinkled mischievously, it might have been that. However, I wouldn't believe she'd fake something like that.

**Alert: Lemon :O  
Those who think it came too soon; I don't care. XD I need it out. Enjoy~**

I placed my hand on her cheek and caressed it briefly, before leaning in and placing my lips on hers again. Her eyes fluttered closed instantly and she reached out to lock her arms behind my neck, pulling herself against me as she always did when I kissed her. After a while she licked my lips, and I granted her access to deepen the kiss. It always annoyed me she seemed so much more experienced in it all while in reality she did nothing more than me… (that's what she said).

She pulled herself to me more and grinded her hips against mine, making me grab her hips in an attempt to keep them still. Mai made a funny sound in the back of her throat before continuing the kiss and her hands traveled down my back, slipping inside my shirt and roaming on my back. Normally, I would've pulled away... right?

I unconsciously shiver lightly when her hands make contact to my bare back and she took this opportunity to grind her hips against mine again, and one of her hands lifted up to tangle itself in my hair, giving it a soft tug and she parted for some air. Slyly she smiles up at me and I move one of my hands to rest at her neck, pulling her in for another kiss.

She willingly complies and quickly touches my tongue with her own, before I took a little more control and she made a small sound. She pushed me back slightly, and my back made contact with a wall, before I snake an arm around her waist lead her out of the hall and walk her gently, keeping my lips locked with hers and I was grateful we made it to my room without anyone seeing us.

Okay, now what did all those books say about this subject? It was even humiliating to know I had to search information on it, even though it always ended with own experiences.

She herself shut the door with a kick of her foot and slipped her hands underneath my shirt, her fingers wandering around on my chest, and I successfully keep in any display of emotion.

I carefully touched her sides and she smiled into the kiss, walking me over to the bed quickly. I did get the impression we were moving too quickly at the moment… did I care? I don't think so. I might regret it later… but right now I wasn't capable enough to get through the haze that was clouding my mind.

But still, I lack any experience in this. I'm sure Mai must know _some _things whereas I'm as innocent as a child. Okay, I did read those books the last weeks, but that was just all. Maybe I could experiment… a little? I didn't know how far Mai actually wanted to take this.

I leave her lips and she lets out a disgruntled sound before I kiss her jawbone lightly, one of my hands moving up her hair to release it from the pony tail. I throw the elastic bond somewhere and wave my fingers in her red hair, the other awkwardly resting on her back.

She pulled me with her again until her knee cavities met the rim of the bed and she parted from me, bringing me down on the bed with her and shifting lightly.

And now? I relish in how she feels underneath me and how her sweet lips taste… I guess she noticed my behavior, once she took the dominant hand. She unbuttoned my shirt quickly, kissing my lips and whispering my name against my lips as she pushed my shirt off. Her hands roam across my chest and I feel the need to bite my lip – keep in possible sounds – but her own lips prevent it. I leave her lips again, trailing my lips down to her jawbone until I met the spot where her neck and jawbone met, and she sighed contently, grinding against me again. I lower down to her collar bone, wondering how much reactions I could get out of her with just this, but I was stopped as she leaned up a little and grabbed my hands, lowering them from her sides. They rested at the rim of her sweater. Slowly and a bit awkwardly I push her blue sweater up and my hand brushed her bare skin. She moaned against my lips, arching herself up to me before parting and lifting her arms to help me get her sweater off.

"Mai, I – " She interrupted me by rubbing against the clearly hardened bulge in my trousers, and I moan, burying my face in her neck in embarrassment. I shouldn't have made any sound; I can't show her I'm this nervous. She smiled shyly at me, averting her eyes. "What's the sudden change?" She whispered at me and I lean my forehead on hers. "I thought you didn't like physical contact." She said embarrassedly, a heavy rosy blush on her cheeks. She was right – up until now I didn't allow her further than kissing. Due to hormones and her behavior from the past weeks, I started doing some research…

I looked at her half-lidded eyes and she glanced at me questioningly, probably questioning whether I wished to continue. I close my eyes and gently trace my hands over her stomach, her sides, waist, collar bone, avoiding her bra and touching her shoulders and neck. She shivered underneath my touch and shifted her head so the side was pressed to mine. I moved to her back, feeling the soft skin underneath my fingertips and tracing back to her shoulders again. How could she get pleasure out of that? It was just simple contact, no more than skin-to-skin touch. Was it the same for her as it was for me, when she touched me?

I stilled at her waist and could feel Mai move a little, before she gently took my hands and guided them to her back, to where her bra's clasp was, and smiled up at me with the most beautiful colour gracing her cheeks and bridge of her nose. I look at her intensely, wondering if I was blushing just as badly. I did feel, pretty warm. "Say something." She requested softly, resting her lips on my chin. I resist the urge to back away, run from this room and pretend nothing ever happened. "I… don't know what to say." I reply stupidly and she hooked her fingers around the rim of my trousers, making my inhale a little sharper than usually. I hesitated when she pushed herself to me more, giving more access to the bra's clasp.

"Taken care off," She breathed out, undoing the few buttons on my pants. She had birth control pills? When did she get those? Besides, there was more than enough reason to stop. I had, in fact, read that it would hurt for her. At least, if I am to believe she was indeed a virgin – which I never doubted – it would. She kissed the corner of my mouth. "I know Near." She murmured, somewhat impatient and I would've sighed annoyed if it weren't for the current situation – I wasn't the only one who was taught about sexual intercourse.

I nod at her former statement and kiss her jawbone again, seeing that was one of the safest places. I wouldn't dare, would I? My hands wandered down and stopped at the rim of her jeans, before tugging them like she did. She breathed out as I undid her belt and lowered the zipper, tugging her jeans down quickly. Comically enough her bra and panties did not match at all, for the bra was green with cherries and the panties were white, laced and with tiny stars.

It was easy to figure out my mind was racing to focus on other things rather than Mai. But I did want to focus on her. She was… magical, I could say. How she made me feel. Practically, I never felt like this before. More alive than I've ever felt. I hope that was a good thing. Would I not deeply regret this? But, this was Mai… I never regretted the things she would participate with.

She pulled me to her, sat up a little herself and tugged at my trousers harder, succeeding in slipping them of until my knees, and I kicked them out easily before hovering over her, kissing her on her lips and she eagerly responded back.

She grinded against me and I was once again fiercely remembered I had absolutely no idea what to do. Up until now I just followed my instinct and let her do what she wanted, but now… She guided my hands to her back again and I rubbed it for a while before ending up at the clasp of her bra, wondering if I really wanted to continue this. Would _she_ regret it later on?

I succeed parting the clasp – slightly confused it didn't take that long, for I had absolutely no idea how that thing called a bra worked – and slipped it off her, deliberately keeping my gaze on her face. She noticed it but didn't seem to mind it at all, letting out a breathy moan when I gently trace my fingers over her stomach again. Would it embarrass her? For the love of God, it already embarrassed me and I wasn't even there yet. One silent, still moment it crosses my mind that _Mello _would never have trouble with this. I did. Maybe I should turn a bit more emotional, like he used to be. Maybe it made situations like this easier. What would he do right now? I resist frowning in disapproval when it came to me he'd probably already 'done the job'.

I feel her lock her arms around my back as she pressed into me more forcefully, and I groan when she rubbed the bulge in my boxers almost playfully, immediately frowning a little that I had yet again let loose a sound.

She parted from me and took a deep breath, glazed eyes looking at me and a dazzling smile I recognized as the one she would always give me whenever she teased me, flirted with me, tried to convince me into something and I know that smile only existed for _me_.

"I…" I start, looking at her and holding her body tightly against mine. "I love you." I eventually whisper and she bit her lower lip – which could be so incredibly… sexy – looking at me through half lidded eyes and she gently nuzzled her face in the crook of my neck. "I love you too." I hear her murmur sweetly, slightly muffled. I smile, and realize I did love her, I wanted her, wanted to revel in her scent, her taste, the feeling of her heat against mine, underneath me…

Slowly – I admit I was actually experimenting a bit, but that wasn't important – I brushed my hands sideways from her chest, not touching her breasts and she moaned my name again, her eyes squeezing shut and one of her hands caressing my abdomen slightly, making me hiss – completely unlike me. Her hand travelled down and I bury my face in her collar bone when she touches the bulge in my boxers, lightly drawing circles. Her other hand travelled down as well and she lightly tugged the rim of my boxers, and it crossed my mind she was asking for approval. With a low moan I press into her palm more and she took it as an approval, before slipping her hand in my boxers and actually touching my erection lightly. "..Ngn…M..ai…" I moaned incoherently as she repeated her action from before, giving me the most wonderful feelings.

I grab her wrist when she squeezed my length, dragging the hand away and giving her butterfly kisses over her collarbone, down to her stomach. With a swift movement I tugged her panties off, leaving her totally naked and I looked her over intensely, dizzy with an emotion I could describe as passion and she blushed harder, looking away a little and squirming underneath me. I must've blushed pretty hard myself, and it should be a stark contrast with my pale skin and white hair. However, she looked gorgeous with the red colour and I intend to make her blush more often. I kiss the spot above her belly button and she smiled lightly, accepting the silent praise and she tugged my hair. I followed her tug and kissed her lips again, letting her remove my own boxers.

As soon as it ended up with the other mass of clothes, she let her hands wander over my back again, giving it feather-light touches and occasionally brushing my waist. I kiss her neck and she squeaks softly when she feels my arousal pressed against her entrance, and I look at her worriedly.

"Are you sure–" She leaned up and gave me a heated kiss, urging me to continue and with a flicker of amusement I realized she was getting impatient. She felt me move slightly and her eyes squeezed shut again, her face pressed in my neck and I wondered if she was scared. Probably, even I felt incredibly nervous. It was her – and mine – first time, and it would hurt _her_.

Her arms locked around my back and she gave me a squeeze, telling me it was okay. I hang my head slightly so my nose leaned against her shoulder, and I gave it a gentle kiss before slowly entering her.

She made a sound I recognized as painful, but nevertheless she kissed my neck in order for me to go on, and so I did. I wrapped my arms tightly around her in hopes it would take her mind of the pain, and she nuzzled my neck, breathing heavily. "Mai…" I nearly choke out, my voice heavy with desire. "I'm-sor… ry." I said and she nodded. I groan softly and pushed myself in her quickly, breaking her barrier and she gasped painfully, her arms tightening around me and I hated myself for causing that. I completely ignore my own desires and wait for her to adjust, keeping completely still and kissing her neck and shoulder.

Suddenly, she moved a little and the friction caused me to moan lowly. "Near…" She breathed out and she moved again, silently telling me it didn't hurt anymore. I remove my tight grip on her back and put one hand on the bed, the other caressing her neck and collarbone, before slowly moving out of her again. Her hands shot up to my hair, waving her fingers in it and holding the locks tightly, letting out another heady moan. The feeling was exhilarating… Those thoughts that sex was just a needful action for children were long washed from my mind.

I pushed back in and her legs instantly locked around my waist, pushing me in even further and we both moaned. I began to thrust at an easy pace, trying to get used to the feeling and how she looked underneath me, how her eyes would flutter open for a second and how she would bite her lips in an attempt to block a sound.

It took some time before we moved in sync, her hips following my pace, meeting each trust and each movement with the same energy. I leaned down to kiss her and she immediately responded, muffled moans coming from her flowed in my own mouth and I thrusted harder, relishing in how she feels, how she sounds and how she squirms beneath me with each thrust, nearly mewling. I pulled away from her mouth since breath was a major issue at the moment, and breathed in deeply, trying to get it in control.

Suddenly her muscles tightened around me and she grabbed my hand harshly. "N-Near!" She moaned out, and I deduce I just found her… what did they call it… sweet spot? I could practically feel my mind trying to etch on some information the books gave away, but I couldn't focus.

"…Call me… Nate…" I murmur, wanting her to call out my real name, not just a stupid pseudonym. Her eyes flutters open for a second, because I just told her my real name, and I thrust back in, shutting her eyes and making her arch up. I wouldn't call her real name, I know she hated that.

"Nate…" She called out. "Ngnnn!" She was muffled when I kissed her again, my body feeling even hotter when my name rolled of her lips like velvet. Her hands lowered to my back, gripping it now and then and running her fingers over it.

I hoarsely breathed in again and I quickened my pace, feeling a strange sensation in my stomach. Actually, it felt so pleasurable it hurt. One of her hands lowered and found mine, and I intertwined my fingers with her and she gripped them tightly. She started making purring sounds again, encouraging me and I whispered her name now and then, positioning my other hand at her neck and holding her.

"A-…Ah… Nate, I-" At the sound of my name I almost felt the need to _growl _and instead kissed her hard, muffling her moans and possibly mines too. I felt her muscles tightening around me again, causing me to thrust even harder and she tightened her grip on me almost immediately.

With a few more thrusts she nearly clamped around me, shivering and she would've screamed if it wasn't for the kiss. I parted from her, kissing her shoulder and she kept on calling my name – Nate, Nate, Nate – as she shivered from her orgasm. One final thrust, I went over the edge myself, moaning her name, nearly exploding inside her. That's how it felt.

I shift before I collapse, making sure not to fall right on top of her, and she breathed in sharply at the loss of touch. She shivered and I reach out to lock my arm around her waist, before pulling her towards me. She winced and I instantly let go, looking at her worriedly.

She smiled lightly, turning around a bit and kissing me tiredly. "It's okay… just sore…" She whispered when she parted and I nod, leaning down for another kiss, feeling her move in closer and I wrapped my arms around her carefully. She broke apart with me and smiled sleepily, before closing her eyes and leaning her head down on my chest. I softly run my fingers through her red hair, making her sigh contently.

All that rested now was the morning, which I hope wouldn't be too awkward… knowing Mai it won't be, but I was seriously uncomfortable with the fact I hurt her. She didn't mind it… I trail one of my hands down and softly rub the small of her back, noticing she was asleep. I lean my head back into the soft pillow, gazing up at the ceiling and feeling sleepy for the first time in a week. Perhaps it was because of Mai, and I closed my eyes, enjoying her sleeping against me and listening to her soft breath.

**X-X**

I woke up earlier than Mai – not that I slept much at all, as usual – and I took the opportunity to swiftly and unnoticeably change the sheets, deliberately avoiding looking at her bare body, no matter how much my eyes told me to do it. Her hair was all over the pillow and some bangs curled, and I look at her intensely while sitting down on the chair I pulled over. She sighed and moved a little, catching the sheet between her legs and stretching a little before lying down a hand in front of her face. It was about seven in the morning, and normally Mai wouldn't wake up for another two hours. Maybe I should just let her sleep… She did seem extremely beautiful this morning, though. I couldn't help myself but to sneak over to the bed, kneeling down in front of it and touch her bare leg very lightly. She was soft, delicate… and I had hurt her. Gently I ran my hand over her leg until it met her covered abdomen, and I moved up to brush the hairs out of her face. This caught her eyes to flutter a little and she yawned before opening her eyes tiredly. She saw me, half-dressed, and smiled lightly at me, kissing my thumb when I ran it over her lips.

"Good morning…" she murmured sleepily, and I nod at her in return, flickering my eyes over to her stomach again when she moves. She caught my gaze and giggled lightly, understanding what I was thinking. "It's doesn't hurt, Near." She promised me and I lock eyes with her again, not believing I actually wanted her to call me by my real name – always calling me that. It wouldn't be possible.

"Come here." She ordered and I lied down on the bed next to her carefully. She wrapped her arms around my torso and pressed her chin against my chest, smiling widely as she looked at me. I rest one of my hands on her back, leaning my head against the rail of the bed and looking at her quietly. She shuffled up a little and moved so she was half-on top of me, kissing the corner of my mouth. Her eyes closed drowsily and she sighed contently, trying to continue sleeping. After about ten minutes she squirmed and with a slight pout sat up a little. Obvious, she couldn't sleep anymore.

"I'll... take a shower." She stated, standing up and taking the sheets with her as a veil. I look at her as she took a few steps, froze, turned around and walked back over to me, tugging at me arm. I stood up as she directed and she instantly dropped the sheets. "Did you… mean all that yesterday?"

"All what?" I ask quietly. She shrugged. "_All _that."

"Of course I did." She nodded and leaned her head on my shoulder. "I had the feeling… you didn't really wanted it. Subconsciously." She explained and I remain quiet, wondering if she was going to give further explanation as to why she thought that. "You don't think… I'm-" She sighed defiantly, but I already got the point. I thought that would be a problem. Gently, I placed my hands at her waist. She of all people should know I would wait for at least her permission. She nearly tensed up when I traced my hands up to her shoulders, to her upper arms. "Oh." She murmured stupidly as if she didn't quite understand what was going on, but decided to play along anyway. Her breathing hitched lightly when I touched her breasts.

"Oh forget it." Mai murmured against my shoulder. She lifted her head so that her lips rested against my earlobe and gently nudged me to the bed. "I'll show you."

**X-X**

"Good morning!" Matsuda chirped. _What _were _they _doing here? I shot him a deadpanned look. "Didn't sleep too well?" Gevanni piped in as I grudgingly trotted over to the screens, deciding I would just sit there for the entire day. Almost a second later I heard Mai waltz into the room, a dreamy smile on her face. She passed me and gave me a kiss on my cheek.

Halle delicately held her hand in front of her mouth so she wouldn't show her big grin, while most of the men in here raised an eyebrow.

Matsuda looked around. "What? What did I miss?"

* * *

**Uwaa :O Epic fail XD**

**R&R!**


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